Working With, Not Against The Military Lifestyle
The military lifestyle can be difficult to adjust to for any new spouse. Britt Lanza had a crash course in the difficulties of living in the military culture, handling deployments, adjustment issues for her and her spouse. The loneliness of deployments and the resiliency she developed helped her grow and adapt to be able to handle the challenges as they come. She has also leveraged the power of community to have the support she needed, as well as direct support to other spouses when and where they need it.
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Transcript from Episode 26 with Britt Lanza:
Keith McKeever 0:02
Good, buddy with Keith McKeever. Welcome back to another episode of the battle buddy podcast. I am joined by a military spouse today. So Brett, you have the honor and distinction of being the first military spouse to be on the battle buddy podcast and we are going to talk about military spouse issues. You've your husband had recently done a deployment, we're gonna talk about some of those things resiliency, power of community and some other things like that. So welcome to the to the podcast. So go ahead and share some your story where you raised you know what you've done. You know, what, what you guys are doing, which where you guys are stationed, or whatever, wherever you want to tell.
Britt Lanza 0:43
Awesome. Well, thank you so much. I'm so honored to be the first male spouse to join you. I was actually also a military brat. And my dad was in the Coast Guard when I was little he joined when I was two. So he got to miss potty training and two year old tantrums and all that I'm sure. But we, I was born in Vermont, and raised in Vermont most of my life. But while we were in the Coast Guard, we moved from Texas to Washington State a couple places. And then finally back home. During that time I was I'm the oldest of four kids. And so we had my sister, we adopted my brother, while my dad was active duty, which is pretty cool. And then he moved us three back home to Vermont, where we grew to four kids and a family of six. And a couple divorces later, through my mom's side of the family and all that I came out here to Tucson to chase my dream to be a corporate ladder climbing hearing aid specialist. And realized rather quickly that that's not really the direction I wanted to go and choosing entrepreneurship. through that journey, I found Nick who is my service member and my spouse, Nick is active duty Air Force. And so he went through a deployment last year. That was very traumatic for me, he left a month after we were married. And through that and reintegration and struggling with his borderline PTSD. And my anxiety from that experience, coupled with just reintegrating back living together again, led me to actually create my business and my podcast. So, you know, I don't know where I would be without the military, I wouldn't have a brother, I wouldn't have the worldly experience that I did have growing up, I wouldn't have my husband or my business. I would I don't even know.
Keith McKeever 2:59
I feel the same way. Just about my service. I mean, I didn't grow up around military, but I very feel very strongly about I am today who I am. Because of the things that happened when I served what I did to people I met the things I experienced things I learned all that stuff like in you reflect and you realize, wow, yeah, a lot of things I am is because of that. Very, very shaped by that in one way shape or another. So a lot of similarities there. But But Vermont of all places that that has to be interesting. I must admit I've never been to Vermont. Is that Is there a lot of towns you just blink and right through? Or you just blink and right through your through the state?
Britt Lanza 3:43
I mean, yeah, you know, Vermont is a very teeny tiny, sweet part of the country. You know, I didn't realize it growing up. But when I came out here to Arizona were stationed at Davis Monthan in Tucson, and you get acclimated to all these places, and you know, Mexican food and like all this rich culture, and then you go back home to Vermont, and it's maple syrup. And it's, you know, I mean, my dad would throw maple syrup on anything. Boiled carrots, chicken, it didn't matter. Like there's a reason it's one of the biggest populations of diabetes country you know, it's nothing but sweetness and fall and candy and you know, but it's it's very beautiful. So if you haven't gone to Vermont, you got to go in like the second week of October. Because that's when all the leaves are changing. And it's just beautiful.
Keith McKeever 4:40
I bet they would be and right before you said maple syrup. I was thinking it as you went on spices. I was like What? What is there out there? I'm like maple syrup. I was like yeah, let's put maple syrup on everything. Every terrible stereotype maybe but yeah, the thing of stereotypes is a lot of times they're true. So
Britt Lanza 5:00
Yeah, yeah growing up, we could tell the difference between Vermont maple syrup and Canadian maple syrup. And I mean, you could do a taste test with our eyes closed and we could tell the difference.
Keith McKeever 5:10
Pepsi and Coke challenge. This is off topic, but boy am I fascinated with it. How can you tell the difference between Canadian Vermont maple syrup,
Britt Lanza 5:21
and there's just a taste difference? Like Vermont maple syrup is just so like, not necessarily thick, but it just tastes more rich. Like it's got more like Canadian maple syrup almost tastes kind of watery. And so, I mean, when we were really little, we could tell the difference between New Hampshire and Vermont and I I'm pretty sure that was total BS. But yeah, we, you know, we're, you know, as much as you are like gung ho for the Broncos, we were just that strong. We felt that just just that strongly about maple syrup.
Keith McKeever 5:56
Wow, you have officially blown my mind today. I probably don't need to. I'm trying to be healthy as possible. But I kind of want to buy multiple types of syrup and test this myself now.
Britt Lanza 6:08
Well, so now that we live out here in Arizona, my family always sends us maple syrup for Christmas. So we always get maple syrup. And what's interesting is that we have collected a collection of maple syrups because you've got bacon maple syrup, whiskey bourbon, maple syrup, which is just maple syrup aged in whiskey barrels. And you know, you've got elderberry maple syrup, honey, maple syrup. I mean, it's endless. So if you start going down that road best Be careful.
Keith McKeever 6:42
Now I was just thinking original. Just find one from Canada, one from Vermont and taste them. But you could do a lot about that. Like barbecue sauces. There's a million different combinations. But yeah, exactly. Back to the story here. So your eyes going on? Was that his first deployment?
Britt Lanza 7:01
It was his third deployment. My first deployment since I can remember I mean, my dad went on a couple as as Coast Guard, but nothing that I remembered growing up.
Keith McKeever 7:13
So how did you prepare? I mean, you'll have a month from the time you got married to the time he left? Yeah. How much preparation did you do and what you could prepare for? How did you actually prepare for that?
Britt Lanza 7:28
That's a great question. So Hindsight is 2020. So looking back, I'm like, Man, girl, you had no idea. You didn't do anything. But in the moment, I was thinking, Well, you know, I've done long distance relationships before. I'm not new to that when I moved out here, I was dating somebody for two years. We moved out here, we dated long distance for another year. And so I was like, like, this is a piece of cake. Like if I've done this before I can do it again. Like he's just going Afghanistan like no big deal, right. But a deployment is so much different than, quote unquote, just a long distance relationship. There's a lot more to it, and a lot more complications. And then you know, where he was going was not safe. And he wasn't giving me all the information to try to make sure I wasn't worrying back home. And then I friended someone who was also going through this with her spouse overseas. And she was telling me all this stuff. And I was like, What do you mean? What do you mean rackets or wait, what? Like, what's, wait, what are you what's going on? And then, of course, I would message him and wait for a response 12 hours later, like, oh, yeah, you know, we get rocketed every once in a while, like no big deal. But to me, that's not not a big deal. So as far as preparation, going into it, I had no idea. And so I was relying on blog posts, and Pinterest, and all the other places we go to, and we're like, how do we do this? And relying on the past experience I had, which was not at all, what it was gonna be like at all.
Keith McKeever 9:14
Yeah, no, it's one thing to be separated by a long distance, not October, long term, really long distance relationship, but they have their job, they're doing their thing. A little bit of a sense of relative safety. You know, you just go on about your daily life doing your thing, right? You just have this relationship, long distance, but you know, there's a difference between that and somebody who goes overseas to work. I don't know, do you pick a country, right? And then just go and they're doing a normal civilian type job over there. You still got to think about them. You're still going to have some of those challenges. But when you go, somebody go into a war zone where communication is difficult, or God forbid something happens to somebody and they they cut that communication off. I know that was difficult for me I was single both I deployed. But, you know, I would call home and talk to my mom and my stepdad every now and then my stepdads, a Vietnam vet, but my mom would freak out, there was times where I was on the phone with her when we had rockets and mortars coming in. And I would just sit down on the floor and have the phone in my hand and say, I just want you know, just we'll let you know, there's some stuff going on. And the phone may just go out, but I want you to know, I'm probably fine. If it does, it's crazy to have to like forewarn your loved ones back home. Like if the phone goes out, I may or may not be alive. But we're being shut out. Like right now. I mean, it was time to she heard the explosions in the background and the sirens going off. And it's weird. Now, I can imagine from the spouse perspective, that's why I'm so excited about this conversation, because this podcast is for the military community. And a lot of what I've talked about is entrepreneurship and stuff for veterans. Little bit for the service members. But this one is really it's for the spouses. But I got to think and honestly, earlier today, this is this is good for the military members to you know, because they need to realize some insight into both sides of things. So how did you? How did you handle his the actual deployment and in the reintegration?
Britt Lanza 11:17
Yeah. So while he was deployed, so he so we got married in June, he left in July. And so at first I was like, are i i just gotta, I just got to do what I got to do, right? Like, this is just what you do as a military spouse, you just do it. There's no preparation, there's no contract that you quote, unquote, sign up for, or anything like that. You just do it. And so I remember dropping them off. And I was crying and sad and whatever. And then, a couple hours later, I get a call from someone random. And of course, you know, I'm like, well, he hasn't even like left, right? Like he's halfway to Spain, or wherever he's going, like, you know, who's calling me and I didn't answer and I get a voicemail. That's like, just so you know, they're playing hit a bird. And they're landing, but they have to burn fuel first. So they're just circling above Tucson, right? Now, you're gonna have to come pick him up and drop them off again tomorrow. Like you haven't even left yet. And you're already in danger, like what is happening? And so I picked him up, brought him home, brought him back the next day, no tears this time. I was like, Alright, just don't hit a bird. Like, that's all I'm asking. Right? So he goes, and I don't hear from him for a couple days, which is pretty typical. But for someone who doesn't know that that's going to happen. I was like, oh, gosh, like, Did they hit another bird like overseas? Like, what is happening? Like, I don't know anything, and I can't know anything.
Keith McKeever 12:58
If he was just taking a trip from where you're at? I don't know, London, you would expect them to call you soon as he lands or gets no hotel room. But that's, but that's definitely not the case. Because that member has to get off the plane, get their gear, go wherever they're doing, right. It takes a while to get to a phone. And then you got X amount of guys and ladies out there fighting for the five phones that are available. Yeah, that complicates things, too.
Britt Lanza 13:27
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, if he was just flying to London, I could check a flight number and just make sure that it landed, right. Like, I could just check. But he, I dropped him off, not knowing he didn't even know where he was going, how long it was going to take to get there. And then it ended up that he went to a certain location, still undisclosed. And then a day later, they had to get back on another plane and go somewhere else for a day, and then get back on that plane. And then they finally landed in Afghanistan. And then of course, it's getting set up and getting the Wi Fi password. And it's, you know, whatever else he needs to do in order to use his cell phone, or use the five phones that are there to just say, Yeah, I made it can't talk, but we'll soon and then a quick hang up. So the first couple days were pretty hard just because I was nervous about him arriving. I just want to make sure he got there safe. And I wasn't even thinking about the dangers that would happen while he was there. Because in my head, I was like, Well, you know, what he does? isn't like he's not going to be front lining any sort of, you know, anything. So it doesn't matter. Like he's going to be safe. He's going to be in a building and, you know, he'll probably wear a suit and tie to work like that was my mentality, right? Like, okay, he's there, but it's not going to be dangerous. The first two months of that deployment were really rough and I was just missing my person. You know, there were things going on in my corporate job that I wasn't very happy about. And I just want I had somebody to talk to you. But because we been married so quick, I hadn't in enclosed or or accepted the military community around me. And so my three civilian friends didn't understand employment, they didn't understand why he quote unquote, chose to leave, or any of that, or why he wouldn't be home for Christmas, and how rude of him. And so they really thought that oh, yeah, yeah. When when the holidays came, you know, it was like, oh, yeah, you know, Nick's not gonna be here for a couple more months. And they were like, well, why can't he just come home? Like just p PTO, right, like, just take the day off? And I'm like, that's not how that works at all. Yeah. And I've actually had conversations with spouses whose family members have died. And then family members are like, How rude of him for not coming home from a deployment to attend the funeral. And it's that kind of thing that we have to deal with, because we're the ones getting asked all the questions from all of the family members, right? Like, his mom was like, when she coming home? Or when is he? When is he gonna fly in? And I'm like, I don't know. When did he get there? I don't know. Even if I didn't know, I don't even think I can tell you. So that was really difficult. But I did find a deployment buddy. And I highly encourage anybody listening to either find a deployment buddy, or if your wife is going to be home, or your husband's going to be home, have them find somebody, even if it's somebody what happened for us is someone who had previously babysat our dogs. His girlfriend, messaged me and was like, Hey, I babysat your dogs once. Let's be friends. And that really saved me from getting into true depression, which I think is exactly where I was heading. If I wasn't careful.
Keith McKeever 16:54
I think it'd be easy for a lot of people to just sit at home and just worried all day, every day. Just thinking about all these things that just could happen. And did a downward spiral really quick. You can happen really, really quick. You know, you got to find something to do. Now, you got plenty to do, right? I mean, because it could you service numbers gone up. So all the chores he was doing at the house are now yours. But you know, there's, there's all those other things, you know, that doesn't take up a ton of time. Yeah, you know, outside of your job and doing those chores, you still have a certain number of times in the day where if you're not keeping yourself engaged and thinking about something other, something positive. You could hit that wall pretty quick.
Britt Lanza 17:41
Yeah, so I feel and I became best friends. And so we almost spent every single day together just like she became my person for deployment. And so there would be a blackout, we had quite a few of them. We had a suicide bomber, bomb the gates and kill a couple members at the gate of the base he was at. And so when you wake up and you don't have the text that you know, should be there, you know that there's a blackout, the first thing you do as a spouse is and it's the one thing you shouldn't do but is go to Google and you're like, died Afghanistan and you just like put it into the search bar. And you just hope that the media knows something that you don't and so you know, when you hear like gate, okay, well, great. I know his job isn't at the gate. So I know he's safe. Or paratrooper. Okay, great, which also happened while he was deployed. Okay, great. I know that he's not a paratrooper, so I know that he's safe. And so as awful as it was, you just get stuck in this died Afghanistan Google search, and you're just searching it all the time to make sure that the reason he hasn't texted isn't because he's one of those people. Which, unfortunately, almost became a reality but fortunately did not.
Keith McKeever 19:01
Yeah, there fortunately, that's just a lot of highs and lows to go up and down constantly. There's actually a lot of similarities, even for the service member of there's highs and lows because they're the same way like all they want to do is get a message back to you saying I'm fine. Yeah, yeah. Because that's the unfortunate reality really, this last 20 years of war is the media any ability to communicate? It's a little I'm sure it's a little different now. When I was in it was phone calls there was a it wasn't video chats that definitely wasn't a thing but it was send an email out every now and then or make a phone call. But it's I don't know it's it's it's bad that the media can have so much information so quick. Yeah, you know, and that's probably something that obviously they want to get the story out that's what they do is share stories, but right at the end of the day, I don't know if there's ever any And he thought about what that does to the people back home. Yeah. You know, when he deployed, because this was just a couple years ago, not too long ago, we didn't have that many troops deployed. So here's something like that, you know, that that it's a numbers game. When I was deployed, it was my first appointment was during the troop surge, you know, seven. I mean, we had more troops in in both countries than at any other time before that. So you hear something happening, which happened more frequently, too. But when I know, as of just a couple months ago, there's only like, 2500 troops in Afghanistan. That's not all. When something happens. Yeah.
Britt Lanza 20:40
Yeah. Yeah. So and then, of course, you've got this battle as well, like, while you're thankful that it wasn't you, you know that someone else is getting the knock on the door. And you know, somebody else is typing into the Google search, died Afghanistan and seeing a paratrooper and going, Oh, my goodness, is that my husband or my wife. And so it can be very scary, but you also feel guilty when you feel relieved that it's not them, which can be an internal battle that you just kind of have to just kind of have to get through, you know, it's not something that anybody prepares you for. And then, of course, towards the end of his deployment, I'm sitting there are not sitting there. I'm actually in boxing class and I'm in the ring. And I'm, you know, going through the motions of class and all that. And thank goodness, I had my Apple Watch on, I normally don't wear it for boxing, because I don't want it to get damaged. But during deployment, any communication, I'm leaving the class, if I get a text or a call, like a boxing class, I can do that again next week, you know, I'm, and I just get a message on my watch that says, babe, I've been told to give my last goodbyes just in case, things aren't looking good, real quick. And it's that kind of message like, there was no blackout yet. Like nothing bad had happened yet. I wasn't typing into Google anything. And just getting a message, like I've been told, I'm probably going to die is just overwhelming. And that day, which was actually January of last year, I still remember the day, I still remember how I fell in the ring. And I was literally just like, I gotta go, I, I was so numb, I just left this poor girl in the ring next to me, you know? Like, right, like, Did I hurt you or something. But, you know, just getting that kind of a message, a text message, because you can't call. So just getting a message like they, this is my last goodbye. I hope you you know, find somebody new, I hope you fall in love again. You know, this is where the power of attorney is that I had you sign. This is what you're going to have to do like. I mean, no one prepared me I didn't, there's no way I could prepare to say my final goodbyes to my husband. And it was very traumatic.
Keith McKeever 23:27
That's totally understandable. Especially when you're just going about your daily life, and you got the boxing gloves on. And you're doing this and you're trying to get, you know, trying to get a little healthier and maybe beat somebody up last minute frustration for the deployment, you know, from him being gone. But yeah, to get a message like that, that would be that'd be a tough one.
Britt Lanza 23:48
Yeah, so basically what happened is, all the sirens started going off. And he worked nights. So he was awake at this point in time. And all of a sudden, just everything lit up red. That's the only way he could describe it. Like every screen, the movie theater, everything just lit up bright red. And they were waking everybody up telling them. We're going to get attacked. And it's happening tonight. We've saw on the radar, all of the rockets are coming our way. Like it's like there is no end game here. Like this is going to happen. And so I found out after deployment that they were hiding love letters around base just in case something was still standing that their letter might make it home. And I just remember in that moment, calling my dad just crying. I'm driving home from boxing class. And I'm like, I don't even know how to respond to my husband like had like, what do you say in your last goodbyes? Like what do you say before somebody dies? And I still don't know the answer to that.
Keith McKeever 25:02
I don't know. That's that's a darker question.
Britt Lanza 25:05
Yeah. You know,
Keith McKeever 25:06
I mean, do you just simply reply with I love you or I love you, I'll see you when you get when you get back like you try and give them some hope. I mean, obviously, he had much more important things to try to think about. I mean, right. Keeping himself in the moment protected protecting the guys next to him. But yeah, I mean by that, but yeah, I don't know that that's definitely a new one receiving a text because that definitely wasn't a thing when I was in. Yeah, that could have definitely gotten gotten interesting. I guess I knew there was FaceTime. Really Skype was kind of a big thing. I don't know where it went. But I forgot about Skype. Yeah, at least you didn't video chat you in that moment that that could have been very nerve wracking. But, yeah, that being in that kind of situation, though, that that would be insane. You know, we, I know, when I was deployed, we had, we had situations like that where we had a plan, when something crazy catastrophic, it was gonna happen. We ran some exercises, but nothing ever got to the point where this looks like it's really imminent. But I have kind of, I had one incident where there was a VBid that was supposedly headed towards our gate. And I was in one of the Humvees out there to intercept it. We were told to light up the engine block if we saw headlights. Thankfully, for us, we never did. We sat out there for a long time. And whatever aircraft was tracking, it had taken care of the problem before it got to us, thank goodness. But let's go sub into a situation like that, where you're just patient facing this, like, Hey, this is this is a real reality, like there is a threat coming towards you. Because I hate to say, you know, rockets and mortars are one of those things where, at least in my situation in Iraq, anyway, it was kind of set it and forget it, they said it, launch it off. They're kind of Amen. Wherever it hits the hits. By the time my second deployment came around, it was no big deal. Like I said, I'd sit on the sit on the floor, talking to my mom on the phone and be like, yeah, we're just getting shot out again, no big deal. You know, you shrug it off. But if you have something major like that, that'd be a tough one to deal with. So what good news as he made a whole, he did. So how was that? How was that reintegration process? After? After you got back?
Britt Lanza 27:33
Yeah, it was. It was easy for the first day. Because, you know, you're you're on this high of, he's home, and I get to hold him and finding him in the crowd and holding up the sign and being really excited. It's like this big whirlwind of emotions, but mostly, again, you're just numb but in a happy way. And then you get home and the mini honeymoon phase, reintegration kind of wears off. And he's used to a set schedule, he's used to having to wake up at a certain time, he's used to six to seven hour work days. And he's used to that strict have to be have to go have to do. And I had taken off a week of vacation, I was going to spend it with my husband, we were going to show we were going to go on vacation, just hanging out. Like we were just going to spend time together. And I didn't realize it round one, if we ever go through another deployment, I know for sure that I will not take off PTO. Because he really needed that time to just kind of be he was so high strung for seven and a half months that he couldn't, he couldn't come undone very easily. And so him chilling on the couch for a month. He earned it. And I should have given him that grace. And that time, and I didn't because I was just so excited to have my person back, that I just wanted to be together. You know, and everybody talks about, you know, the deployment baby that comes after deployment. But we didn't even want to be in the same room as each other. I mean, we were just upset all the time at each other because he wasn't following the routine I had. And he didn't understand what was going on. And I changed the furniture, feint change the decor, whatever. And I was like, Yeah, but I did that like five months ago. Like it's like normal for me. But he came home to a different home, different atmosphere different plan. And he really needed that time to just settle out.
Keith McKeever 29:49
Oh, absolutely. You know, I've said for a long time. I don't know how much training he did, but I was security forces in the Air Force. So both deployments. I think the pre deployment training was like Two weeks or so two or three weeks. I've said for a long time, I hate how the military would bring people back from deployment and give off, you know, you come back in process for the, you know, well, that second or third day, right, you come back, you didn't process the unit, you turn in your paperwork, whatever, but then they give you like two weeks off. I think personally, it was suck for the spouse and the kids. But I think in the long run, it would make more sense. Now, I'm curious what your opinion is on this. If they would take them to another location, before they come home. And allow them as a group of guys and gals to decompress in a safer environment, maybe even inside the United States. But someplace where they can come back, they can set their gear down, and they can slowly unwind over a month period, maybe do some, some training, you know, like I did, detainee operations, and that was something that was not a primary job of security forces, if something that we easily adapted to but you know, but if he came back and he said, Okay, well, we're just gonna go over, you know, come to some base, maybe if it's another Air Base, right, and you set up shop, you stay in some tents, you stay in the hotel, whatever. And you train back on your regular job. You ease yourself back in some, I don't know what that looks like, but two or three weeks, and then you come home to the family. But if you're, if you're in the States, you have then phone calls, text messages, FaceTime, you're not as many time zones away. You know, I'll just think God just makes a nap. It makes too much sense. Like I said, it was set for the family that has to wait an extra two or three weeks, maybe a month, whatever, whatever the case may be. But it gives that member a chance to decompress, and maybe take some classes where they can learn, hey, look, you're gonna come back into this. And, you know, for Nick sake, you know, when you get home, Brett's gonna have her own schedule, right? She's cooking dinner, when she cooks dinner, she's cooking, what she wants to cook for dinner, she's taking the garbage out was just taking the garbage out, like, you are going to have to adapt to her just as much as she's gonna have to adapt to you. And I think, like, it's, it's something everybody knows. But like it needs to be pounded in their head. Yeah, so that's, that's my two cents on
Britt Lanza 32:24
that. You know, it's interesting that you say that, because I think the spouses need something like that to, to be honest. I was, again, brand new spouse, I knew I had a key spouse who would fill me in, she would send out a text to everybody in our unit at our base, who had deployed, and it was just as everybody got thumbs up emoji, okay, great. Like, and that was it. And so for a while, I was like, yeah, like, I got to be independent, I got to know what I'm doing. Like I can't be dependent on this woman who's also experiencing a deployment doesn't matter how many times she's done it, deployment isn't easy, no matter what number of deployments you're on. And so you know, I was stuck in this, I have to show that I'm not a dependent, right. Like, I don't need anybody I'm, I'm this independent woman. And I got stuck in that headspace. Because that was the culture. I mean, that's what is ingrained in you either you're a dependent and you got to rely on everybody for everything, or you got to be the super independent, I can do everything on my own, when in actuality, the reality is somewhere in the middle. And I think it's important for military spouses, to recognize that sometimes you need to be dependent on people. And sometimes you need to be independent, and it's okay to be both. But when he came home a week before he came home, or before he left, we were all shuffled into this little room. And it was our kind of like debrief of deployment, like this is the plan. And it was a PowerPoint slide of about 10 slides that was like, Well, if you get paid extra, make sure you call this number. And if you don't get paid at all, call the same number. And remember, when they come home, that it's gonna be difficult. And it was kind of like, like, why are we just here for the free pizza? Like I'm confused, like, this isn't helping me out.
Keith McKeever 34:22
Tell me that story before. I had to call the number. Anybody in finance actually pick up
Britt Lanza 34:28
the call, so I wouldn't know. But I have not gotten
Keith McKeever 34:36
you know, I may have been out for 10 years, but I still gotta take my shots at finance.
Britt Lanza 34:43
Yeah, yeah. So, you know, from a military spouse perspective, it would almost be easier to have what you're what you're talking about, because, at least you know, now when they're coming home, when they're in Afghanistan and gets pushed back a week pushed back a week. Well, we don't know if we're replacing this team or the next team or whatever, you just don't know when they're coming home. But if you know, okay, it's been pushed back three times, but now they're in Colorado debriefing. And it's gonna be a three week process. And I know for those three weeks as a military spouse on my base, I have a support group that meets on Wednesday nights at 6pm for an hour. And we just talk about what to expect with seasoned spouses, or with other people who have been through this with active duty who've recently returned from a deployment so they can talk about their experiences, because women and military spouses are ingrained differently than the male brain is right. And I fully believe this. And I fully believe that military spouses, we thrive in community. And so if we didn't necessarily have like a training, but if we just sat down in a circle, and we just talked, like our husbands are coming home, in 14 days, how exciting. We're all on the same countdown. And we can all just talk about our experiences and have that connection. And then when they do come home, we have connection to people who are going through it too, that maybe we've swapped numbers where they can tax and be like, is your guy being a jerk today? All right, cool mind to like, must be that reintegration thing? You know, just having that community I think would be so important.
Keith McKeever 36:24
Yeah, absolutely. I think that's where the military just let people down. They're letting the family down. Yeah, really, because it's, it's both sides of the equation. So another question I thought of today, and I think this is a perfect time to ask it in here. Yeah, what do you think the service member could do? To make the job better for a spouse before, during and after a deployment?
Britt Lanza 36:52
Well, before the deployment, actually give them the paperwork. My husband apparently came home with a stapled packet for your spouse of like numbers to call resources, all of this, and just assumed that I didn't want it and like put it in the coffee table drawer, and I found it a couple months into deployment. And I was like, Well, did this would have been nice.
Keith McKeever 37:18
It's kind of been helpful.
Britt Lanza 37:21
So if you get any sort of paperwork for your spouse, just give it to her, even if you don't think she's gonna want it, let her throw it away, or hide it in the coffee table. Because, like, there were certain numbers that I wish I had known. It had, like my key spouse on it. So I, you know, didn't have to wait for the first text a month, and I could have reached out and been like, Man, I'm struggling. Can you connect me with another spouse who's going through this, that I have a friend? You know, there's a lot of different things in that packet that I wish I had known. Would I have taken action on them? I'm not sure. But it would have been nice to have it as an option. So for sure, that's something that I would
Keith McKeever 37:59
have. And is it better to have not need than to need not have?
Britt Lanza 38:03
Exactly, yeah. Yeah. And you don't know. Unless, you know, so.
Keith McKeever 38:08
Right. Yeah. You don't know what you don't know. that's for darn sure. You know. And, and I mean, he probably probably thought most of the stuff in there was probably just junk. I'm sure half of it was, you know, totally useless. But yeah. Yeah, that's, that's definitely a good one. So is there anything during the deployment you think the member can do to make their job easier on the spouse? Obviously, they're gone. So they can't take out the garbage. But
Britt Lanza 38:36
right, you know, something that I struggled with during deployment, as far as communication goes, is that a lot of spouses were able to communicate a lot more with their spouse than I could with Nick. You know, Nick was working nights. So our schedule was kind of flip flops, we had about a three hour window where we could talk, and we were both free. And then on the other side, there were people who were going through day shift over there. And so they would talk in FaceTime and all this fun stuff multiple hours every day. And I was like, how are you doing that? Like, I have a nine to five job. He is working 12 hour shifts, like none of us are eating like, I don't understand where you're finding this time. And so as far as the spouse goes, I would encourage you not to compare your relationship while you're deployed to anybody else's relationship while they're deployed. As far as what he could do for me that did make me feel good is we missed basically every holiday both of our birthdays our anniversary. We missed our all the holiday season. I mean, everything. And so something that was really cool that we have access to now that we probably didn't back when you were, you know, deployed is the internet while you're gone, and so he would just randomly order pizza for dinner for me at dinnertime, he knew it was gonna be dinner time for me, he knew I probably wasn't gonna be eating or eating something fast food or frozen or whatever. And so he just had a pizza delivered to my house. And I remember on our dating anniversary, he had a heart shaped pizza delivered to my house, I don't know how he did it, I don't know where it came from,
Keith McKeever 40:20
he put the notes section on our hard place.
Britt Lanza 40:28
So it was those little things of just like, you know, what I know, we can't go out on a date, we're saving a lot of money by not going out on dates. So I'm just gonna send you you know, order and your favorite meal from the Cheesecake Factory or whatever. And it was really nice, because you just feel so appreciated and so thought of, even though you can't talk for hours on end. And so that was a really nice communication tactic that he used. Especially if he knew I had a hard day I would come home and there, you know, be food, which is my love language, I think so. That was really nice. Yeah,
Keith McKeever 41:05
that's, that's interesting with the pizza. And yes, we had internet with when I was in. But we were closer to dial up than we were to, to the internet of today. But yeah, that's, that's actually pretty awesome to think about, you know, literally. I can't remember on the second deployment, where I went and got on the internet there. But I know on the first one was a little trailer, maybe five or six stations, you had to hard wire and you know, the old slow computers. But you had to pay. And it was like 20 minutes were at the time. I mean, it's barely enough time, check your email, send a few emails out because you know, everybody's flooding your emails. But definitely, definitely a different time. I don't think anybody was ordering pizzas anywhere online, back in the mid 2000s. Like that, it could be wrong. I'm still the person that picks up the phone and calls so. So the idea I mean, it's pretty cool though that I mean, he was able to do that just log online. And I mean, I've ordered pizzas online since then. But it's cool that you can set times and stuff like that. So, you know, for any service members listening on your next deployment. You have no excuse not to send flowers or pizza, or chocolates or whatever else you think, you know, you can even order the groceries online.
Britt Lanza 42:25
You can DoorDash anything
Keith McKeever 42:27
to your spouse. You know what help her out if she's having a rough week he or she and an order those groceries on Instacart for him. Yeah. Just be careful at the leave at your door thing. You don't want him to leave them there too long, because they're either gonna end up going or spoiled. But in all seriousness, like that's, that's actually pretty cool to think about that you could do that a couple of days in advance, schedule it and be done.
Britt Lanza 42:50
Yeah. And even if like he couldn't talk for a couple more days, it was just really awesome. To just hear the doorbell rang and you knew that it was, you know, food, or, you know, something, and you just felt thought of, even though he probably did it a couple hours ago or yesterday or who knows when it's just really nice to just feel appreciated, and you know, feel loved. Even though he can't hug you He can give you pizza, which is basically the same thing. So
Keith McKeever 43:19
I can't disagree with that. I mean, I love pizza. So yeah, yeah, it's yeah, it's really cool that that he was able to do that. So I hope I really hope other people are doing that. That is definitely my you know that, that that's a possibility. Because you're blowing my mind. I never would have thought about that. So you kind of talk about mental health struggles yourself. And for Nick, what kind of resources were available for you? You know, did you find anything in that paper? Did you find something somewhere else? You know how?
Britt Lanza 43:53
Yeah, that's a great question. So originally, I didn't know because I didn't know what PTSD could look like, you know, you see it. Drama, sad drama. Is that? Is that a word? I don't know. You see it on TV.
Keith McKeever 44:09
Or that? Spiral, a butcher.
Britt Lanza 44:13
But you see it on TV, you know, it's these people that are scared because they think that they're in a war zone. And you know, they're huddling under things, or they they sneak away and hide in a corner or something. And you see these people, you know, just terrified and or super angry to the point where they're, you know, I'm thinking of like, Grey's Anatomy, the main character there. Oh, and you know, he chokes his wife, you know, in asleep because he thinks that the fan above him is a helicopter. Like you see these crazy things happening. And then your spouse comes home and Nick came home and he was just angry all the time. And so I honestly took it to heart I thought he just regretted being married. We'd only been married a month. And so I was like, man like I I wonder if he just misses being a bachelor? Or, you know, maybe I'm, maybe I am just too much, you know. And so we both been changed that day in January, I think saying our goodbyes to each other, as hard as it was, and as thankful I was the next day when communication was done. And he was like, actually, I don't, I don't know what happened. But it's gone now. And I'm okay. Something happened to both of us that day. For me, I know, it resulted in a lot of anxiety. I've gotten a lot better now. But I used to go about my day thinking that myself or Nick, were going to die every single day, I'd get into the car, and I think I was going to die. Nick would leave for work. And I would think that he was going to get into horrific car accident or die on base or our base is going to get targeted, like really crazy things my brain was telling me was going to happen. And I was believing it because I didn't understand what was happening within myself. And I didn't understand why he was angry. I mean, we got into an argument and he threw his phone across the room, not at me, but across the room. And I was just so overwhelmingly upset because I thought he was actually angry at me. But as much as he was angry about what we were arguing over, he wasn't really angry at me, he was angry at the situation. And what had happened before. And so it took us a couple months to realize what was happening and realize what we needed. We did utilize Military OneSource. Because I fully I love their platform, but they do have free resources, and they have it broken down by what you're going through. So everything from domestic violence, to PTSD management to just needing therapy, to anxiety, I mean, they break it all down. They even have resources per branch, which I think is really cool. So air force versus Coast Guard versus whatever. And so I utilize that right off the bat. Another thing that the Air Force has that I am utilizing is called M flak. And it's basically like, counseling, but not so these people are volunteers. They don't take notes. But they will meet you anywhere except your home. So they will go for you on a walk with your dog. And you can just vent to them. And they don't take notes. Nothing's written down. Nothing's recorded. Nothing. So you feel so safe venting. And that's what they're there for. They just vent you can meet them at at a Starbucks and get coffee with them and just sit there and vent. And it really just helps you kind of think through things if you're a talker, like me. But it's also nice to just know that there's somebody there that can listen, even if they're not there to fix it. Nobody can fix it. But it's just something that you go through. But it did take us a couple months to kind of come to that realization. Like I'm like this is actually signs of anxiety. I know. That's interesting. Like maybe PTSD doesn't have to be very dramatic outbursts. It can be I'm sure that it can be. But PTSD can can manifest in other ways, too. And I think it would have been so important if during those 10 PowerPoint slides, one of them had been on ways that PTSD can manifest in your spouse when they come home. Oh, absolutely. notic. So I know
Keith McKeever 48:34
I've learned a lot over this little over a year that I've been doing this podcast on PTSD myself personally, talking to other people, the conversations I've had here on the podcast clubhouse other places, right? It's, yeah, it's you kind of hit on something like Grey's Anatomy and choking out of spouse. And I've often said, I really hate how movies and TV portray PTSD as the super angry, violent person who is doing nothing but choking out or punching their spouse throwing them down the stairs, like the worst possible portrayal of what PTSD is. And what they don't talk about is social isolation. You know, it can lead people to drug and substance abuse issues or angry outbursts, or there's so many different things that people can can in I know myself personally, I got stuck in that of that view of what PTSD was and denied it for years that I had any and whatever lies is, mine's a little different. I get a little snappy. Sometimes if somebody says my attention away from something and I have to refocus, or, you know, self isolation, I bury myself in work. So I don't think about things, you know, get in and work and volunteer things. And some of it's good, right. I mean, there's good intentions there and helping other people and doing other things. But, yeah, it took a long time to realize that What I was doing was kind of because of those things. But another thing you said that was interesting is you felt like, maybe he, you know, want felt like he wanted to be a bachelor or something because you guys have been married for just a month like, yeah, that I can, I could totally see why you would have that thought, you know, but there's also something to the fact that that's a lot of changes to, for him to go from dating to married, and only a month to figure out what that's like. I've been married for over 11 years now. And the first couple years, honestly, you're really trying to figure out you learn a lot about each other. You definitely don't learn it the first month, and to learn that and then boom, you're gone. And and next thing he knows he's in a dangerous part of the world doing dangerous stuff. And all he's paying attention to is the men and the women around him and make sure everybody's safe and the mission gets done. And into come right back home and pick up that that newlywed role after so many months of being gone, I mean, that's documented itself. Even if he had went somewhere safe, and then then somewhere safe. That's still enough change in somebody's life. Just boom, boom, boom, like that. So yeah, you know, that's, that's something that you have to people have to keep in mind, because I know your situations not, you know, you're not the only one that's done that she has been other spouses, there will definitely be more spouses in the future, that will get married, and they're their service member is going to be deployed. Weeks later, months later, a year later, and you're still gonna be in a honeymoon phase, figuring out who you are as a couple. Yeah. And it really tests you. But on a bright note, I'm sure that makes you guys a lot stronger to, to, to so early had to experience that.
Britt Lanza 51:58
Absolutely. You know, everybody talks about how the first year of marriage is the hardest, right? Because that's when you're combining finances, and you're getting to know each other and all that. But we didn't have that. And so, you know, the first year of our marriage was a piece of cake. I mean, I did whatever I wanted to do, he did whatever he wanted to do it within his restrictions of deployment. And you know, we hardly ever fight because we hardly ever talked. And so, you know, the first year of marriage was was great. It was probably the best year of marriage we've had so far. It was the second one that was hard, and not because of the pandemic, which happened a month or two months before our actual first year anniversary. But because we were, you know, he came home, February, Mary is our official or June is when we got married. And so we had a couple months of just arguing or whatever. And then it was figuring out how to do finances together and figuring out Okay, now we need a tax person. And now we need all these things together. And yay, happy couple go us. But we really didn't know what that meant. And so hearing wife or husband was still unique a year later, because we didn't get the chance to say it so much. And so it was a lot of struggling with our own identity and our new mental health issues that we were going through. And it was a lot of trying to figure out who we each were independently and together. And so our second year of marriage was probably the hardest.
Keith McKeever 53:35
That's understandable. Definitely understandable. Now would have been a very weird first anniversary, though. So he was back by your first anniversary. He was yes, then that must have been weird. When he said Happy anniversary to you to think in same thing for you to say that in your mind. And then realize has been a year because you were here for part of it. You know, that's definitely a strange situation. Yeah, you need to the military. Obviously. Not so many people get married. Young. You know, it's a young person's game. The military is Yeah, so people go go through that. So I'm glad we're having this conversation because I certainly hope some military spouses hear this and and the members and I think about that, especially all the single guys out there if you plan on proposing anytime soon and think about your deployment cycle. Serious. Listen to this, okay, you got to buy the pizza. Okay, you got to do that when you're, you know, what you can money be able to do before you leave, you know, surprising that that first night was order her pizza, she don't have to cook or he or she Yeah, so, but that that loneliness that you had that whole time. Luckily, you had some people in your corner, but the loneliness and all those ups and downs leads to a little bit of resiliency and stuff. You know, what, if anything, were you able to learn from the other spouses that you're able to now pass along to others.
Britt Lanza 55:00
Oh, man, everything. So he got back, like I said in February. And then by September, I was ready to embrace being a military spouse. I didn't know what that meant, or what that look like. But I was like, You know what, I'm just going to do it, I'm going to figure out what it means to be a military community member, and then play my part. And, you know, my first kind of thoughts on being a military spouse was things that I'd heard either from my husband or his friends jokingly, like, all depends, you know, you thinking of that kind of person. And I was like, Why, like, I have a nine to five job that I'm really proud that I am this leader in my community. And that's kind of the direction I want to keep going. And so I don't know that I want to hang out with those kinds of people. And, you know, you just get all these stigmas, again, from the media, and from TV and movie shows of, you know, just a bunch of people just sitting around not doing anything, like living their best life on their husband's paycheck, you know, you get that that mentality, or that that mental image of the spouses and I was like, Well, you know, a spouse club, sounds horrible. I would hate like, I don't like book club, why would I want to hang out with a bunch of spouses and just sit around and talk about it? Like, no thanks. And so I really had no idea about what being a military spouse was like, what the military community was like. And the military has never been this, overarching This is our life is the military, like, we've always done other things like Nick loves baseball. He's a huge fan of the Astros, and a huge fan of other sports, obviously. And so, you know, for him, a he identified as all these other things before he identified as a service member. And I know a lot of people do that a lot of people don't. And that's okay, too. But I knew I needed to find this happy medium. So I decided to interview spouses. And I was just like, you know, what, I'm just going to interview spouses on my base, figure out what the heck this community is, what it means what it does, like, how do I be a military spouse, just like, fill me in. And then I was like, I'm going to create the handbook that I wish I'd had during deployment. Because if I could just read this handbook, you know, have a section for every month that he's gone. And I would know everything, I'd know all the signs, I'd be able to do everything that I want to do, then I would have come out of deployment, a totally different person, and our relationship would be totally different. So I need to figure this out. So I can make a handbook? Well, turns out that handbook would have been 1,000,001 pages long, because you never know enough. In the military. There's a
Keith McKeever 57:43
lot of situations that could come up to, to prepare for. That would definitely be a long book, you know, and so many different perspectives on what a deployment is to links and locations. And that that's a difficult one to, to write
Britt Lanza 57:59
to bind up. Yeah, yeah. How do you bind something like that up. And then all these military spouses I was talking to you had such unique, incredible stories. I mean, everything from a corporate job to entrepreneurship to I just started a podcast, and I just talked to people about it. Like, that's my story. And so you just learned so much from each spouse. And so I created this podcast instead of a handbook, because it's a heck of a lot easier. And I honestly don't like writing. I'm not sure.
Keith McKeever 58:32
On that one. That is me right there. I don't like writing. Yeah, exactly.
Britt Lanza 58:36
So I created this podcast. And I mean, I just recorded my 92nd interview with a military spouse. And I'm still learning every single day by the spouses. And everybody's story is different. Resiliency looks different on everybody. And, you know, as much as nobody really thinks about it, we've all been touched by mental health in some way, someone we know, has PTSD or has anxiety or has depression. And so feeling so tightly connected to almost 100. Now, military spouses, literally all over the world, people stationed in Germany and the UK and right here in Tucson, it's just overwhelmingly cool. To just see how connected we all are. Even though we live completely different lives. We all grew up different. We all have different backgrounds. We all are stationed different places, or have been in this longer than others. And it's just so cool to realize that even though I was going through deployment alone, I wasn't alone. Nobody's alone in this, and if you feel something or you feel like something's not right, or if your household is dealing with some sort of mental illness, you're not alone in that either. And it's just so empowering to know that other people share your story or parts of your story, and that you can be connected even though you're miles apart.
Keith McKeever 1:00:08
Absolutely, yeah, the military community is just so small in some way. I mean, just millions of people. You know, I read a statistic the other day, just veterans alone, there's, like 18 and a half 19 million veterans have to get across all generations, but you look at them and their spouse isn't, you know, it's up to a lot of people, but active duty, specifically and well, active Guard Reserve right there. So, so few people, such a small percentage of the population is currently serving. Yeah, that it's, it's not hard to know somebody, especially longer, longer and extended, you'll probably and the more people you interview, you'll probably know somebody before you know it at just about every base there is out there. You don't have a connection everywhere.
Britt Lanza 1:00:55
Yeah. And it's so cool to see that or to see that this connection, you know, and this person way over here, they both are going to be PCs in San Diego around the same time, and that you can connect them and then see them hanging out and see them spending time together. It's just so cool to see how expansive right, I mean all over the world, literally all over the globe. But yet how tight our community is and how much we actually do support each other. You get those bad eggs every once in a while, but like just how tight knit and how here they are for each and every person if I need something I know I can call it a military spouse. And I know they're going to show up and they're going to bring it. So
Keith McKeever 1:01:38
you're definitely right about some bad eggs there. There are some people out there who have definitely are the dependent title. I was oh, we as veterans. Don't make it easier on military spouses when it comes to that it's way it's way too easy for them to make it easy for us to make fun of them. Yeah, unfortunately, doing so. Kind of paints all military spouses like that, which is totally not fair. Because I remember when I was in and you know, the People's spouses, you know, what they do, you know, people's spouses in a unit. I know people's spouses that would have definitely fit in that category. And I knew others that, you know, like yourself, have a job, have a mission have goals in life and are doing something and they're not there to collect a paycheck and collect on TRICARE TRICARE. Yeah, you know, first of all, I don't know why anybody would want to cite me. While everybody want to be in the in that community for for that medical care, but anyway, um, yeah, it is what it is. So,
Britt Lanza 1:02:49
yeah, I think I heard the term. Gosh, okay, so I heard the term depend upon a mess, before I even knew what depender meant. And so I was like, well, that ain't gonna be me. Figure like, I'm not even gonna identify as a military spouse, if that's what it is like, No, thanks. I'll just be my own person. You know, and I think a lot of people get into that, I get a lot of hate on Instagram, I'll get messages from random spouses who have seen one post where I'm talking about my service member. And it's like, oh, you're that kind of spouse and all this. And I'm like, actually, if you read anything on my platform, you'd realize I'm really not that spouse. But, you know, people get so stuck into this, oh, like, oh, I don't want to identify as that like, Oh, we don't talk about the fact that he's in the military, when in fact, you should just celebrate that, like you would any other job. You know, I mean, if this community has something so special, because we go through something so unique that the rest of the world does not, you know, no other job is going to send you on a deployment, where you know, your service member is going to get rocketed every once in a while, and it's no big deal. And yet, here we are trying to shy away from the fact that this is just part of our life. And I think instead we should be embracing it but also embracing us as individuals to I'm not a dependent potamus I'm not a dependent. But sometimes I am dependent on my spouse or dependent on something that the military offers or resource, something like that. And I think it's it's a balance of both.
Keith McKeever 1:04:27
I think there's something to be said I mean, I mean, just for as dependent as you are on Nick for certain things. I am certain there's there's things he's dependent on you for I mean, that's the nature of being in love and being married, like you are there to lean on each other, to be the support for each other. Right, the sickness and health, whatever the vows, you know, some people's vows can be different I guess. You are there to be the rocket and to be there for for that other person. Yeah. And in some ways You're dependent on those people. Like, maybe it's just as simple as chores or managing money, and things like that if one person does it, if take, for instance, if you manage all the money in the household, if something were to happen to you, God forbid, then he's got to come in and figure all that stuff out, he has technically been dependent on you for that. Or, you know, just as an example, and we need to keep that in mind that being dependent on something isn't bad, because you can't do everything in the world and you need to delegate things. Sometimes, you know, not everybody can, you can't put everything on your own shoulders.
Britt Lanza 1:05:39
Yeah. And it's okay to be both, right, it's okay to be independent. And it's okay to rely on your spouse or other people. It's okay to rely on the base for those really good deals on laptops, when you really need a new laptop. You know, like, there's a reason that these things are in place, and a reason that we have access to them. I just think, you know, don't shy away from things just because there's a negative stigma there. Because there's a lot of really cool resources and, and, you know, I mean, next really cool, too, I guess. So. depend on you.
Keith McKeever 1:06:15
You're not going to listen to this episode, or you're just gonna call you guess, you know, but back to the dependent thing. Like really? Yeah, cuz you just said negativity. And I was just thinking something along those lines. It's all how you frame it. Is it is it positive dependency, or negative dependency? And that's where the dependent potamus and all that stuff comes from of the stereotypical person, the spouse that lets themselves go doesn't care about anything, barely takes care of their kids. I mean, doesn't have a doesn't have a job. No direction in life, no goals, nothing, right. Just have their you know, they're soaking up the soaking up the BH. And in the TRICARE. Yeah, you know, not pulling any weight. And unfortunately, some people marry that. It's, they do exist. Yes, they definitely exist. So, before we before we wrap up, yeah. One final question for you. Okay, you dropped a lot of nuggets already. So I don't know where you're gonna go with this. But what's one piece of advice? You think every new military spouse needs to know?
Britt Lanza 1:07:23
Oh, lean on your community. I think I've kind of touched upon that throughout here. But whether that's a really good resource, like M flak if your air force, or whether that's finding a deployment buddy, like Fe was for me, I think it's so important to embrace your own military spouse journey, right, you don't have to be a dependent eponymous and you don't have to be a dependent all the time. But it's okay to be an independent dependent. And it's okay to be a dependent, dependent sometimes, you know, we all have different journeys. And I think you would be starving yourself of something really important, if you gave up your own dreams, or gave up part of yourself to just fit the mold. So lean on your community in order to get you to experience that uniqueness within you. And that's a part of you doesn't have to be entrepreneurship, which is what my platform is really all about. It's just embracing being, you know, your own MBO. But it could be, but it could also be that you want to be a corporate ladder, ladder climbing, you know, guru or someone who specializes or who wants to be a CEO of a really big name company, or maybe you just want to be a banker. And, and that's okay. It's okay to be whatever it is that you want to be and just embrace your uniqueness and lean on your community to do that. I think it's just so important.
Keith McKeever 1:08:58
Awesome. You mentioned your company. Going and tell us a bit about about your company here.
Britt Lanza 1:09:04
Yes, so new Altitude's is a business coaching, dream for everybody. Fairfax, specifically for military spouses and veterans who are interested in increasing their business online. And really what I focus on is community building online. So building up your Instagram to have a community feel not increase your follower numbers, though. That's great. And we do kind of work on that. But really talking about like, how many people are messaging you how many friends have you made on the platform? How many people do you know purchase from your business multiple times over because they love you and they feel connected to you? That's really what that's about. And then my podcast moments within me Oh, is all about interviewing military spouse and veteran entrepreneurs about their entrepreneur and military life journey. And that's always unique. And you can find that basically had any listening platform. So
Keith McKeever 1:10:02
awesome, awesome. I will have those in the show notes for anybody that's listening. It'll be on YouTube in the description as well. That's new, new dash altitudes calm and moments within me to search on your favorite listening platform is your way to the rattling off road.
Britt Lanza 1:10:20
I mean, we're on over 20 platforms. So literally any app that you listen to podcasts, we're going to be on it. So
Keith McKeever 1:10:27
it's kind of what I've gotten to the point on my two. I'm just like, You know what, wherever you listen to because it's probably one of the big ones anyway, it's there might not be on all the any little tiny ones, but you know, all the other major ones, but I appreciate you. Appreciate you coming on. For all the listeners, make sure you go follow Brett. listen to our podcast contactor if you need it, she's a great resource for things. Like I said, all that stuff will be in the links as well. Don't forget to also hit Like and Subscribe. Follow us on this podcast if you happen to be listening, not subscribed already. And with that, I got a little ending message here and Brent, thanks again. I really appreciate you coming on here.
Britt Lanza 1:11:07
Yeah, thank you. I really appreciate it.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
