We Are All Wired Differently

Canadian Army and Police Veteran Jon Archambault, who shares with us his personal experience with mental health and the importance of seeking support. Jon discusses the shame that often comes with carrying around mental health disorders and the pros and cons of peer support.

He emphasizes the power of communication with a spouse and how it can be a critical factor in maintaining good mental health.  Jon also talks about the importance of sleep on mental health and how adaptations to medications can impact overall well-being. He provides insight into how to find a counselor and what to do if you don't click with them.

Additionally, Jon touches on the topic of masking emotions and the negative impact that it can have on mental health. He shares his personal journey with this issue and how he has learned to overcome it. This episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to learn more about the challenges that come with mental health disorders and how we can seek support to improve our well-being.

In This Episode We Cover:

• Shame of carrying around mental health disorders.

• Pros vs cons of peer support.

• Power of communication with your spouse.

• Importance of sleep on mental health.

• Adaptations to medications.

• Connections to a counselor: how to find one or what to do when you find one you don't click with!

• Masking emotions.

Battle Buddy Podcast Guest Links:

https://open.spotify.com/show/4NwwOA2m3vLdVr7vU3JsoZ?si=iYZ5AlqWR8Cm6TwzVQXlRw

Www.wireddifferently.co

Transcript from Episode 101 with Jon Archambault:

Keith McKeever 0:01

Welcome back to another episode of the battle buddy Podcast. Today we're going to talk about a super, super important topic and it's mental health. And before we get started, I also want to say that, you know, if you're struggling remember that, here in United States, the suicide hotline number is 988, press one, I am sure our guests will enlighten us as to what kind of resources there are available up north in Canada, because for the first time ever on the podcast, I have one of our friends to the north. John Archibald. So before we get into it, you know, it's gonna, you know, be mental health topic that, you know, maybe difficult. So if you struggle, you know, please reach out to about a buddy or uses resources that are available. But that's what the topic today is. Welcome to the battle buddy podcast with Keith McKeever. So John, welcome to the show.

Jon Archambault 0:56

Hey, thank you so much for having me today.

Keith McKeever 0:58

Yeah, no problem, man. I'm super excited. You know, always, it's always great to have an international guest. I've had a couple, but great to finally have one of our friends to the north.

Jon Archambault 1:06

So I'm very, very happy and like you You said we do have multiple type of supports up here. Sometimes they're similar because the VA or is the VA right? We kind of follow each other. But it all depends man and depends on the city as well would they have for each provinces or state if you wish. And for veterans, veterans, we have like the OSI clinic. So it's like the VA. But we don't have hospital vas, right. So we go to normal hospitals. But for psychology, therapy, so on so forth, you have kind of one stop shop for the veterans and the Federal Police. Those are kind of the two places where we the only place where we go and OSI is then for operational stress injury and Canada instead of call it PTSD for people who served because it was usually created in a personal environment.

Keith McKeever 2:02

Sounds a little nicer and softer term than Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yeah, I kind of has a rough, terrible sounding term to it. Because I know a lot of people here like they just want to drop the D you know, just post traumatic stress, you know, which I get it. But you know, either way, it's just how you react to those stressors that you go through, right? Like you said it could be from law enforcement could be from firefighting could be just anything in your life or you know, from your time in service. So with that in mind for all of your brothers and sisters up there in Canada, is there a certain phone number or resource that that anybody should call the if they get to struggling since we're talking about a kind of heavy topic today? Yeah,

Jon Archambault 2:45

so so we do have the 811 for mental health in general for everyone. But it's also tied up to just health each province have also their own number I believe. And for first responder we have we have source I forgot the name and my friend started in this province this is awesome boots on the ground were actually will be a first responder retired or someone who's off who can sort of phone so you talk to someone that actually knows where you floating in which I find fantastic. So there have descended provinces and Ontario I've got to the French province I cannot tell because I have not lived in it for so long now. But ya know we have supports right but it would be 811 and then the direct to true out who you can talk.

Keith McKeever 3:32

Hey, that's a start so that is always good. So let's let's back this up a little bit to your military service tell us a little about you know by your journey

Jon Archambault 3:41

so I I'm from a family who was against military so there's that kind of fight we talked about it before and then mostly between the French and the English that's because you guys kicked their ass do you kind of both to us and we had to kind of lose a war so anyways we got stuck with them and it's strictly talking like there's been a Mr city for a while apparently it's better than they used to be. But so I was raised in a family who was really French like we spoke Spanish we learned Spanish and learn Portuguese but English was kind of the No no language. I studied in Brazil and upon return and I'm gonna get why I joined the military my university in Brazil was not recognized. So at 19 years old I walked in front of recruits center and and walked in and that kind of sign up the paper I'm gonna go there I want to be infantry. They're like no, you speak three language we're gonna send you to a communication job. Okay. And didn't ever told me that of course was English only which I did not at a time do not speak sorry. So anyhow, so I joined I was 19 in October. And in the job was top secret clearance was special. Special sh sorry, sa clearance as well, which is about NATO and so on so forth, which take a long time to get now of course was an English as well, nobody told me that so I had to learn English. I had to get that clearance where I lived and various provinces in Canada and and move to Brazil and yada yada. So took out a

Keith McKeever 5:09

while by adding an extra layer of difficulty to it already probably difficult course. Right? Yeah, it was,

Jon Archambault 5:15

it was interesting. Let's put it that way. Four years after this. I mean, they were telling me well, we won't get it until probably an extra year or two years more, and I just want it to work. So I was like, Okay, what is the job that is open, I'm gonna go into it. So they put me in logistics, which I ended up being the posted into a navy unit to dead quarter of the Navy. And in the capital. I was the only Army Private working there. Got like the crap job. And I always been hyper, which I learned recently, I have ADHD to explain why. But there's one of the commander of the ships were in town and he was like, son, come in my office. So we're in his office and, and he's pointing out a frame. And he's like, Do you know what that means? I'm like, No clue. It's a frame, sir. He's like, That's special force. I'm like, Okay, people like you go there. There are hyper over there. So you should apply. And I'm like, I don't know what that is. But Sure. So I applied from true test and was selected as a supporter there. And then the fun started. I mean, it was way more, it went from like, you know, a regular pace to it was do like three months ago. So you got to get it done now, which I appreciate. And I think it kind of opened my eyes on multiple things, then it got deployed in Iraq. After roughly 10 plus years, I came back from Iraq kind of apply to work for the monkeys that won a red suit. On a horse. That's all you show. Us. It's awesome.

Keith McKeever 6:42

Exactly how we pictured it down here. The troopers

Jon Archambault 6:47

were Super Troopers. That's a commercial. Yeah, exactly. So I applied for them took forever. So one of my friend was telling me, hey, you should apply to a city police here, they recognize that the military training, so applied to Monseigneur, I was I was accepted. And I moved across the country roughly 2600 miles away from home and inside of the job. So it was a course of seven months give or take, and then 150 hours in the street. And it was on my own that the job of coppers for had say well, total was six years. But after three years, and so I got sick, I face a few walls, few red flags here and there, which I I guess I could just close my eyes. So it's sometimes easier to avoid or ignore. And I guess a wall got bigger and thicker, and it hurts even more. So took me roughly a good three years and COVID COVID years give or take where I was stuck at home. I was hyper vigilant, I was hyper everything. It was hard to travel to therapy because it was true to district where I worked. And it was seeing the flashback of the calls that I've been into so and now things kind of switched, right. So I left the police for police insurance. And I went back to the VA because they know how to deal with mental health. And I mean, an insurance that we have, if they think you're committing fraud, they're going to follow you. And I was followed kind of insulting because I wrote a book about mental health. I was like dark had gotten my head and so on. And they're like, well, he's making money, it's clearly in shape. And I'm like, not in shape, I had gained 40 pounds. Communication and the relationship was totally way off. Because I couldn't speak or like I did not know like, am I gonna injure her if I tell her my story, or it should I just keep it for myself. We had a new kid of a year old. And so there's a lot of things that kind of pile up really quickly. And the only thing I knew what to do is learning about mental health. So I started to buy books, and learn and read. And I'm from a family where my both parents are psychologists. So I was just all over it. Like let's learn and then got told like you have, you don't have just PTSD, f c PTSD, with dissociation with a major depressive disorder. And it kind of grew with the time. But it was interesting, right? Because when you start learning what your body what why does it react in such way, that's when you start digging, getting back control on top of it. So it was very strange because during the first two years, I had to select the language right in my head and it was either French or English. And I had to go English. I couldn't speak the other language. My wife doesn't speak French. Therefore I had to take the language out as I please. But like to see that the brain kind of shutting down at times that you're not expecting it to feel rage and rage being so calm, like it's not burning inside. It's actually you are feeling 100% Everything around you you're really conscious of what's going on and your strength and your flaws and so on. And that makes you a very dangerous person. And the last thing I want and is becoming, you know, with the show on TV about veterans and PTSD, and I want you guys to kick on and go shoot people I know. Right? So the fear of self fear, right? Like fearing of all you can react if you get angry, and so on, so forth. So there's a lot of parts that was interesting, the low the high, the roller coaster from it. And so it's been four years where I'm on that 40 years of recovery and the call and starting to getting out of it. And being more able to drive in traffic, as silly as it is, right? Because when I think about it, I'm like, Well, I'm from a big city, where they drive like European. And, and I moved to big cities before that, it'd be a cop in a big city, it was directed just no issue. No stress. They shouldn't have to drive right? Either I get angry at people, or I it's overwhelming. So to see the brain changing so much is extremely interesting. But I think there's a there's a thing that was eye opener at one point is when I embrace the changes, because there's stuff that we'll never be able to do. I've been permanently restricted to wear a uniform by fear of relapsing. And but in the same way, it's like that that kindness is coming back that self identity is was found in there's a quest with being there for my kids. Right? And it's another thing were being there for my wife being able to communicate now. The body as as well reaction, right, that getting the weight that can be IBS, it can be erectile dysfunction, that there's so many things that the brain says, Yeah, stupas each year. So we're going to shut down some of the part in your body. So it isn't. We don't need it right now. It's not a need.

Keith McKeever 11:50

absolutely wild what what the body? Like you said, all those different things. And more. Yeah, that the body does. Yeah.

Jon Archambault 11:58

I think at first, I guess, glimpse that I had, and it was dissociation. I was sitting on my couch, and I could understand everything that was going on on TV. But you would have asked me, What's the language I couldn't tell you? Right. So the process was not there, or literally losing two hours of my life and dissociation, again, coming back to my car, and I'm sitting in my car, my cheeks are wet, because I guess I cried, and I'm sweating. And I'm like, why did this happen? Well, two hours was robbed. right for me like it was gone. And I cannot tell what it is. I didn't have a car cam to check with the hell do I do that I just sit there and my brain shut off. Like,

Keith McKeever 12:39

it's gone. It's just you know, blacked out just times gone.

Jon Archambault 12:42

Yeah. And I remember being in Florida at the beginning. And we're chasing dolphins, we're in kind of Naples. And as we're chasing golf, and me, my wife, my buddy just froze. After she realized that she was far enough, she came back she was going on and I'm I can't move. My buddy just doesn't want to go anymore. And then you're super shame. Because well, you shouldn't go through things. Nobody talks about those things, and so on, so forth. So I hid for two days in a in a hotel room. And I was telling my wife, don't tell you Don't Don't tell your parents, I don't want them to know that. I cannot kayak back home. Right? Because you're so proud, just kind of part of the training too, right? Like extremely proud of it. So it's an adding up, but then you start looking. And I was looking into you know, stats, and it's an average of like 33%. Now who has PTSD, it's huge. Now, depending on which trade first responder, military and so on, so forth, which who are as well as their own numbers. But it's extremely important to see that, first we're not alone. There's a lot of people who don't talk about it and is still like the shutdown the heart feeling, I'm going to feel nothing going to be Nam going to smile, like everyone smile when I know it's supposed to be fun and happy. And if I'm grumpy, I'm gonna act happy as well. I wear a mask. And I'm going to, like navigate through it for the rest of my life, which quite often and I think some of the reason why we have such a high divorce rate in the military or first responder, that's the reason is we don't speak and we just kill it in the end, right, like I have six years left to do. I'm going to shut it off for six years. What if you cannot open it after? What if it shut down forever? Right.

Keith McKeever 14:34

That's an interesting point. And you've hit on a lot of things that I wanted to kind of dive into today, but that one in particular. I think it's an interesting one, like how do you turn those back on? Because I've heard that before of like, this person is not the same person they used to be. I don't see same joy, I don't see the same. You know, this is the same person that I married, you know, 1015 20 years ago, like, they're just not the same person, and I never see that out of that person ever. And it's like, you know, loosen up, let go, let out of your shell, like, all these different things have like, you know, do this and it's like, does, you know, or, you know, how do you? How does that what do you do that? You know, that's, that's it? I think I know the answer. I mean, it's work. The short answer, the four letter word of work, and it's therapy. And it's really the marriage of the two. So you have to go to therapy, and you have to do the work. And you have to communicate with your, your loved ones. And you have to just be like, hey, look, I don't know. I mean, I'll self identify. I'm one of those people, right? Some of those examples of we're me, that's my wife, she's like, you know, you're just not the same person that you were, like, I don't know how, like, I don't know how to cut loose. I don't know how to have fun. I don't know how to do some of those things. Like I am just, sometimes I'm just kind of a bury my head in work. And in a very intense kind of person like that. Yeah. I haven't had I don't know how to be different.

Jon Archambault 16:17

I agree. So my wife told me one day, I have to relearn how to fall in love with you. And it was kind of a it was hard for us to hear. And I think it's totally understandable. Because I was happy with who I became now. Right? Because that that Valve had been shut off for quite close, right? For such time. That now I could feel again, I'm gonna go Oh, my God, like, I'm going to feel them fully. But I'm the same way would work before while we didn't talk that much about it at home. Me I remember 2012 I shut off the news because I'm like, This is bullshit. I hear really what's happening right now, in our meetings in the morning. This is not happening for real dots cover up. So am I okay, well, I'm gonna stop. But but I'm not gonna go political. That's not the point. But I'm just saying like, you know,

Keith McKeever 17:11

right, what you see versus what you hear in the news? I mean, yeah, exactly. Like, so. It's and it's not always the same.

Jon Archambault 17:17

Yeah. And the thing that I discovered always is quite often, right, we were trained to use this right. So I think we're computerize a lot as well with this, right, like the brain is becoming computerized where I got to go there to prep for this and this and this. And so, at the end of the day, my mission, my daily mission is complete. And it's going to go into big scheme of that bigger plan. Now, if you restart to connect this and deaths, well, there's there's movement, right, there's now a moral that can as well come in with moral injuries quite talked about lately. Because while in the military, to give me an extra day off, and I just had to work three days in a row, and I had pizza, right? I remember I remember, like, going through this, you did stuff. And I was like, just kind of off. They gave me pizza. And I had like an extra day off and I couldn't scrape time. And then when we got out, when I got out and the years passed on, am I Was that a good thing? What we did there? Like, was it okay? Like, was it morally okay in a society? And I'm like, Well, probably not in society. Because society is not at war. Society is not prepping for war, and so on, so forth. But the reality is, is yeah, we need to do some time dose things to the better thing, right, the better down the road. Like if we're looking at police arrest, right, sometimes you get in a fight. And there's not a fight that are clean fight, right? We're not talking doing that and octagon, or whatever that is.

Keith McKeever 18:46

Yeah. It's not like, Hey, hold on. Let me put the gloves on. Yeah. You know, yeah, go now. Yeah.

Jon Archambault 18:53

And it's not that way. Right. So sometimes, yeah, there's, there's things that are questionable at times. But still, it has to be done. And I guess, comes down to the weight of saying what had to be done. Can I make peace with those things? Yes or no? Right. Or I mean, going through exactly at Lincoln, dirty fighters cop and and at the end, you're looking at a person and they're in coffin, should I give him that extra kick, just so you don't understand? Because that's not right. And then you're battling, not with the person on the ground. You're battling in this saying, What's right, what's wrong? And do I do it? Or do I still keep my integrity? Right so there's, there's all those things and meanwhile, you also battling with the past? Right? Which like all those things, you don't digest necessarily, or they went to sleep and then they're waking up now and saying, Hey, I'm here, by the way, in case you forgot your trauma from this year,

Keith McKeever 19:50

and you never know it is going to win. It's gonna rear its ugly head. Yeah, and moral injury. I had never heard that term until a couple years ago, doing this podcast So I had an author on who was in mental health. And in her book, she talked about it. And when I read her book, I was like, it was so eye opening to be this moral injury idea. Because that's when it really hit me on my journey to try and recover. Which, you know, is very much still a journey that's still kind of going on. But, you know, I grew up. You know, like you said, politics, like, getting into politics, religion, but I grew up going to a church. My grandmother was a superintendent of the Sunday school, I went there all the time. You know, great childhood, right. My grandmother was the kind of person that would, you know, do anything for anybody, always volunteering. And so I saw all these examples as a kid of the the great things to do for people just what you should do, right? Just be a good person. And then, you know, I had these examples of joining the military, serve your country, all these great, noble things. And my first deployment was in a prison camp guarding terrorists. Yep. And so for almost eight months, I'm sitting there face to face with the worst examples of human beings on earth. Every single day says face to face, putting hands on these people, handcuffing and touching them interacting with them, you know, sometimes, and I don't know how I made it through that eight month deployment I never wants through. For some reason. I never fired a single less than lethal rounded anybody. And eight months, I always ended up being the guy holding the shield or watching the weapons or sitting there sucking in tear gas. That was always me. But I was always witnessing everything. I was always like there for everything. But just the things you witness, you know, you go through that kind of childhood, seen all that stuff? And then you're there and you're like, wow, there's a lot of evil in this world. There's a lot of messed up fucked up shit. Yep. And it just messes with your head. And I didn't realize till years later, after both those deployments, I was like, wow, you know, like my second deployment. We had a guy that came in, he was popped on Intel. And I don't, I don't think I've ever told this was publicly but I'm getting more comfortable with my stories. This guy popped on Intel as wanted. And so we called it in and Intel was like, yeah, he's wanted, but we don't want them enough. So just cut them loose. And we got the Intel brief the next morning, he was found dead in the ditch got pumped full AK rounds, about a mile and a half, two miles outside the base to this day, I think it was probably the Iraqi police. You know, somebody that, you know, obviously, they knew him walking from the base, it was pretty obvious where he was coming from, you know, but I was the one who took the retinal scan that popped him in his system. And he sat there pointing at my am nine saying shoot me now because I'm good as dead out there. And he did the next day. That would mess with me for years. And it took kind of like reading her book to be like, it's okay. Like, I didn't do that. I had no control over that situation. I was just there. Yeah. Like, that was just weird coincidence. But like that mess would be for years of like, like, I had something to do with it. Like I took his life and I did not. I had nothing to do with it. It was weird. chance you call it whatever it is. But it's a you know, seeing like reading what moral injury was to be like, Oh, shit, okay.

Jon Archambault 23:20

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. There's, there's, there's trauma as well by to kind of third level, right? Like you have the one that you first level, which has happened to you directly, the second level where you've like, you see it, like you're speaking about, and the third one is actually by our third person. Right. And that could be it as well. Right. So there's, there's various ways of developing trauma, which is extremely interesting. But, and I just want to do a roundabout about what what you said earlier, like, I mean, you're right, therapy is huge, right? The work is huge. I'm going to add up mindset. And the mindset, why? Because I mean, you know, we work extremely hard. For anyone who goes to therapy, I think it's extremely hard. It drains the crap out of me. But and that is EMDR, CBT, whatever, er T, whatever we're going to call it today, whatever,

Keith McKeever 24:12

even if you're just opening up and just talking. I mean, just yeah. Just to. Yeah, just to do that.

Jon Archambault 24:18

Yeah, just just just bring it out sometimes extremely hard to write. You're totally right. So but you got to want to. And I think that's the biggest biggest spot, right? Because I think that therapy medication, that's 30% of the job, right? Because you can have a fantastic team. If you're not there. Mentally. It's not going to do anything. Right. And I have a friend recently, I think two months ago, they just opened my eyes and he's like, you can only control what you can control. duress. You gotta learn to let it go. And I was already because I was pissed about you know, politics and whatever is going on in our country and so on so forth. And, and he's like, You have no control over this. If there's a Anything that's already happened. And you have to deal with it. And he's like, You can waste your time being angry at everyone for voted for that sad person. Or you can just go on your way. And what can you do what your kids so they're happy, right for right now. And when we present, what can you do now. So it kind of changed and changed my vision of things. So I removed myself from the news because I was kind of drawn into that negativity. And I really focus on healing. So from going outside, that's another thing right nature as stupid as it sounds, or from dearth, we're coming back to dirt. Let's go have some fun in the dirt. Right. So we have the Rockies, we're just above Montana, going through the Rockies, hiking a mountain, as such a great dopamine exercise is graded dopamine, but all those things, switch it switch, or shifted. And that made a difference. In like, I mean, I have a small brand where I used to hire just veterans or first responder who draw when I come like, probably a million of company of veterans who wear T shirts. And I switch it to school outside. So we're putting out jackets now like go get warm, cold, whatever the temperature you're facing right now, there's nothing that's going to change you from going outside and just having some fresh air because sometimes we're so much into our safe zone, that it's uncomfortable to leave it. And if you're comfortable, you're not growing, you're not having some growth at the end of the challenge. If you're terapy is not moving things inside. It's not working. You're scheming.

Keith McKeever 26:40

If you're just sitting there and you're making small talk, you're not you're not making any advancements. But here's a really good point on mindset. Because I think anybody who's making progress has gotten themselves in that point of mindset. I've made progress, you've made progress. So we've obviously gotten to that point of mindset. So I guess the million dollar question is, how do we get more veterans and first responders, people who are dealing with mental health issues, to have that light bulb come on and see the light and be like, enough of this crap? I got to take charge of my mental health I have to take charge my, my health General. Yep. And and do something about this? Well, I don't know what what that switch is, you know, because I guess for everybody is different. So.

Jon Archambault 27:28

So I Okay, so first thing first talking about it is the key, right, like what we're doing right now. And the more we talk about it more, it sounds normal, more people come forward, and so on so forth. I do believe that the new generation coming in as easier access to it versus older generation where it was a bit more taboo or was not accepted or so on so forth. Or like, there's all those, you know, awful cases of the VA that we hear. But we don't hear about the good one, because I'm sure and I'm convinced and I know some Case Manager or people will take care of us who are fantastic. They're phenomenal at their job. So sometimes it's just to look into, okay, well, I have the choice to hear that, you know, the demon or the angel, if you wish, right? Or whatever that is that good or bad. Or maybe like rolling with a half full glass instead of half empty, and, you know, negative habits, right? I'm not, I'm not removing that fully, it is there. But if if we see life are full, might be more interesting to look forward. Because a lot of us will say, Well, I'm not in the uniform in my community anymore. I don't hang out with civilian because I cannot connect with them. Well, let me surprise you here. There's a lot of civilians who have the same mentality that we have, they just don't wear a uniform, they're doing something else, but they have the same kind of mentality. So you're stopping yourself from maybe opening to someone. And the other aspect that you realize is in my own talk if the people in your life or not

putting you in a route or path or where you grow. You should carry on and have new people in your life.

Right, like if I have someone who's constantly negative, I'm going to turn up negative, right? If your friends are not challenging you or you're not learning from them or so and so forth, even family right family, sometimes this doesn't have to be blood. But if if you are fulfill and those relationship then you will grow. If they're empty then you're stagnant, right you're not moving so it's a choice as well right? Like is it comfortable to be with that person? Yeah, because I know every Friday is gonna smoke his doobie and he's gonna be high we're gonna have funny conversation munchies and go to bed. Well, that's that's my friend. Okay, well, what if instead that friend challenge you to grow? It might not be as comfortable as the first one. But it will bring a new you down the road or evolve, evolve one who knows? So Sometimes it's to cut off that comfort zone to walk into something new, right? Because it's not, it's not easy, right? First time you do a marathon, it's not easy. First time you do half marathon or 10k, or 5k, or whatever that is the first, the first mile you run is not easy. Right? So, as true, comes down to a choice, do you want to be challenged want to be pushed? Do you want to love yourself? Like you should have loved yourself for the past 10 years, but instead you close your eyes for a job. And I think a sacrifice is there. Right sacrifices to say, I'm going to remove myself for X amount of time a service to say I'm a team. I'm part of that uniform. I think we should work on a better transition. Where do I find my identity now? Because it's gone? Like when I was 19? I'm at 35. Right? Like it's, and it's not easy to build, because we're all different. Right? That overly pride of ourselves that we've been like, and put it right, well, it also taught us to shut your mouth. Don't ask question of a funny example. My wife will tell me and explain to me why she does such a thing. Tell me I don't need an explanation. I didn't have an explanation for X amount of time. I'm okay with it. Go with it, honey. Right. And it's the irony. But the truth is, she needed to say it. I didn't need to receive it. So I had, you have some time to make those. I guess you need to bend over and adapt to different styles. Now I'm gonna jump back to moral injury. Have you heard about sanctuary trauma?

Keith McKeever 31:45

No, I haven't. That's, that's a good one.

Jon Archambault 31:47

That's another one that kind of come from the moral injury. So let's say you go through something horrible in the military overseas, or whatever that is, and your supervisor, Commander in Chief, whatever you want to call that are supposed to take care of you. But instead, they use that against you to make your life horrible. So it's kind of a double whammy of trauma. Right. So that's sanctuary trauma. And that's another one that we see quite often. Right. Like, and we've been hearing this from from soldiers who say that they have been sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, and and then well, they found that or whatever that is, right? Or they are posted somewhere else are affected somewhere else, or whatever that is right. punished for having actually said something not great. I just happen or being told like, well, if you come up and said Your true fear, your career is over.

Keith McKeever 32:44

Right? Yeah, I've had a few conversations with people who have gone through, you know, the military, sexual trauma, and obviously, there's high, highly publicized cases, Vanessa gi in and there was another one here recently, out of Fort Hood again. But yeah, where you know, somebody is becomes a victim of a crime no matter what it is, and they go to blow the whistle and say, there's a problem here multiple times, and their leadership is does not have their back for whatever reason. Yeah. And yeah, it's a shame.

Jon Archambault 33:15

It's a shame. It's sad. And I mean, obviously those and it's not going to be literal, this. It's awful. Right. But those are the ones we hear the most. And in us right there. I mean, we they get up here. So they got chairs quite often. And visitors, because we have the same problem. Now we have as well case where people were held accountable. And that's important to be mentioned, too, right? Because I don't think that it's 100% of every case that are dealt the same way. Sadly, right. The same as a police officer where some people are okay, well, that's a you call that brutal force, or it was too much, or whatever that is, well, it's not every cops that are dirty, right?

Keith McKeever 34:01

Good point. Yeah,

Jon Archambault 34:02

I'm pretty small. I live in a really like, it's our Texas in Canada, Alberta. And so fighting was not really always an option, right? When five, seven or six plus. So I would walk out into place and say it's French police. And people are like, what the hell's going on here? Right? So they stop fighting, or they look and then I can talk, right? So there's ways of dealing with our stuff with like everything else, right? But that's kind of all we do. Right? Like there's one uniform, we're gonna paint everyone the same way. Right. The same with the stigma around PTSD, right that we talked about? Well, okay, well, quite often we hear what's a veteran, pick a gun, go shoot people. Very violent. We see that in movies we set in media and so on so forth. I did a test here in town. When I got diagnosed. I went to get my dog food. And the guy studied in the French province and he's like, oh, yeah, your your cop braid or your mouth or something like this, right? Like, yeah, he's like, I was working like I'm not working And he's like, Oh, what are you doing? You just stopped working. You don't want to? And I'm like, no, no, I got diagnosed. I was like diagnosed, you haven't broken legs. And I know I've seen to send pretty well. He's like, what's going on? And I'm like PTSD is like was that and I post traumatic stress disorder. And he's like, Oh, I'll help you bring your stuff. And he walked me out. And it was not mean, man. I don't think it was mean, from his part. I think he just didn't know what to do, what to say, how to handle it. So that's his reactions, I'm going to walk him out, it's going to help him truthfully, I felt like I was blocked out of the store as well. Right? So being aware of who we talk to, and I mean, I'm sure it's the same way. Sometimes it's the VA itself, you talk to someone, we're probably phenomenal and physical injuries when it comes to mental injuries. Well, they don't know how to deal with you write, it's crazy. No, I'm not crazy. It's broken, not broken. I'm the result of whatever I've been through. That's all right. And truthfully, nothing wrong with that, right? Like, it's all you deal with. That is all a change, right? Like, are you going to drink like a 24 or two for every night or 26 ounces of whatever, maybe? Or you're going to actually dig in it? And dive deep? I don't know. I mean, here right now, the weed. weed is legal. Right? So it's been legal for 2019. So four years? Well, it's the highest expense that the VA does right now. Wow. Because it's prescribed right. So I can't tell you the first year at 30 grams,

Keith McKeever 36:38

but to get a flood of Americans coming up there.

Jon Archambault 36:42

So I'm 30 grams. And I was like, that's perfect. I probably use 10 Just appeals to sleep because the medication did not work. And I'd had my appointment and they said I was not doing it makes perfect. Enough. 60 grams, Mike, why do I have said that 30 was enough. And this year, I'm at 90 grams that they're paying. And I'm I don't need that I don't need this amount at all. So it's the biggest expense that they have. Right? And, well, if you're falling out or avoidance, you might not drink. But if you're a high as a kite, not going to process well, right. So because they say I don't know, if your therapist was saying the same, but my purpose was saying you shouldn't be sobered and they prior and they're late after because things are moving as to be moved back in place. And if your body and your brain is not so well, that has been impaired, it's gonna affect the reaction of it. So you're gonna have to restart.

Keith McKeever 37:40

Interesting. No, I haven't heard that. But that's very interesting. Especially was is that all treatments or certain types of treatments, or just,

Jon Archambault 37:51

that's what my therapists hear that I got that the VA was telling me? And they made sure I'll just see, but I don't drink. I mean, I drink my wine before frenching I guess? Why didn't they get under my armpit? That's that's how I go. And but since I have that, that CBD that kind of cooled me down at night, I don't drink. Right, there's no need for for avoidance for a while. So I'm just taking off and going to bed and the munchies are good. Sometimes, but you know, could be worse. But, but it's interesting, because now I'm going to North Carolina to walk 222 miles, rucksack, March. And well, I had to find a scientific medication to make me sleep. Because I'm not allowed to go across the border. Which makes sense, right? And I'm totally fine with it. And I talked to my friends who are cops under and I'm I have bring my Cert place for weed in the States, my Oh, shit. So I had to call the doctor and sit with him and say like, Okay, what do I do now with this, like, is there? It's okay, I'll give you some pills, you're gonna be asleep, like this. And I was like, cool, that works. I have medication, we're going down there. And I me and my buddy, we're flying in order to Canadian going to join a team. And we're the same medications like, Oh, what do you think about I'm like, I'm groggy as hell, which obviously with a weed, you're groggy at night, or you're and then the next day or no problem. So it there's an adaptation when you travel with that tool, right? Same whatever rate you need to get your prescription to go across the border for all the antidepressant and so on so forth, which we don't really think about mentioning, right?

Keith McKeever 39:39

Yeah, there's a lot of things with the the medicines, you know, that was the first question the VA ever asked me when I called about mental health was like, Do you want do you want medicine or do you actually want to talk to somebody which I still think to this day is just absolutely terrible. Which I think, you know, obviously, you should talk to somebody first and they should, you know, make a medical decision whether or not medicine makes sense, but All these medicines can do all kinds of different things based on what other other kind of medications you are taking. Yep. What kind of interactions is it having, what kind of secondary effects like, you need to take all these kinds of things into effect, like, still to this day, I'm still not taking anything for my PTSD, I don't want to, you know, I want to try and tackle things through talking to a therapist and recognizing problems and spotting them and finding ways of healthy ways to deal with things. That's how I prefer to deal with things rather than just go right to supporting the pharmaceutical companies. But you know, there's a there's a lot of things you got to think you got to take into account, you know, it almost kind of sounds like your your system up there is kind of like a lot like ours like well just prescribe some meds just here, go just kind of dish it out.

Jon Archambault 40:49

Now they come together. So at the VA, we have that psychiatrists to us directly with a team. And so you have one meeting per month, give or take with up psychiatrists saying, Okay, well, we're gonna try this one at first, and whatever that is what you therapy you're doing, this is gonna work out. I can tell you I went through 18 different medication. I was like you at first I'm I don't want to touch anything. I've never been a pill guy beside Advil because it's what the military gave us. But yeah, tea trees, and Advil is what tea for whatever we are at now. But so I was like, my father went through like a burnout and depression and so on. Mike, what do you think about the medication? And he's like, truthfully, is like, it's an imbalance, a chemical imbalance in your brain that's going on right now. Right? So he's like, if to help you in the beginning? Good. Fantastic, right. So like I said, took 18 different medication to fall into 1961 medication that I have right now. It's old. But it kind of does the same effect that helps with ADHD medication. So we had to kind of mix those two. And it's a super low dose, right. So my psychiatrist told me last, you're going to be done this summer. It was, it was especially for the hard part in the beginning. And she you can tame off the sleep aspect as a sleep aspect, right? It's going to take time. So it kind of accept that part. And you're right, right. They I think for all those medications, side effects, this is why peer support is great. Because that's when I realized and peer support. That the side effect, I was not a one case. Buddy beside me is like, Have you ever tried that one? Does your leg like start trembling at night? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's that medication? Really? He's like, Yeah, when you stop it, it's gonna keep on going for six to six months to a year and I'm like, You kidding me? And I stopped and he was right. Kept freaking trembling in the bed at night. One leg the same leg that we talked. And and then you Okay, right. So there's, there's positive sometimes with peer support, because that's another one that has a double side effect, right? Double Edge can be fantastic. But it can be extremely bad for your relationship. And now let me just point out those point because people will be like, Why? Sample if you are in a group where everyone understand exactly what you're going through without saying a word. You don't have to talk. Then you get home. And you've been used for an hour, two hours where it was so relaxing, so peaceful to have like the fear of or whatever that is, maybe. And now you have to explain everything at home, oh, my god, like, why would I do this bullshit, and get frustrated to your spouse or whatnot. And truthfully, it will be fixed if you just start talking. Right? And usually your spouse is the person beyond believe wants you to be fixed. Fix in quotes, obviously, I don't think that we're broken. But that's the person who wants you on the right path. Right. And I mean, like you start at the beginning, right like the battle buddy would comes with my mind every time is battle buddy check. Right? So we need to check on our people and get our stigma that we have around is the one with suicide. That person is coward committed suicide? Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. I don't think it's a coward movement. And then there's people will probably not agree. But I believe that the person who commits suicide just wanted to paint a stop. And it doesn't have to be forever. I think it's there's there's such a pain for such an amount of time that is probably not there used to. Right, so let's go with numb normal numbers. So if you're used to have two hours of high pain in a day mentally, and you've been now for three days in that pain, you just wanted to stop. Now, I'm not saying that suicide is not bad. What I'm saying is maybe we don't have the right perspective or what suicide is. I believe that it's someone who just wander paying to stop like, some peaceful time right. So it's not I will never want to get up again. It's I want to just bit of quietness. Sadly. I don't

Keith McKeever 44:58

think it's some People don't just wake up one day, perfectly fine the next day, wake up one day and just decide this is it? Yeah, it is some sort of pain that has been going on for a long time. They're not getting answers. They're not getting treatment, they're not seeing any kind of improvement. And it can be physical pain that transfers to mental pain, it can be all mental pain, whatever, like. I don't think anybody really truly gets it. Unless they've been close to that point. Yeah. You know, and I've never been close enough to that point where I've grabbed something to do it. But I've been close enough to that point where I know I've been pretty damn close. Yeah. And it's. And I know, I think that's why I've got such a positive mindset on trying to grow. Because like, I've told my wife before, I'm like, I have to keep myself busy. I have to keep myself involved in a lot of shit. Because I can't go back to like 2020. And during the pandemic, when things got really dark for me, because I know, I was pretty close, then. I was damn close. I can't go back to sitting on a couch with nothing to do. Because that is not a good place to be.

Jon Archambault 46:15

Yes, five. New commercial. Okay.

Keith McKeever 46:19

We have a sponsor our first sponsor. So me. Oh, that would That'd be nice. But yeah, so you know, you just can't, yeah. You just can't, can't let yourself get to the point where it gets to the dark place. That's just me, you know, I have to keep myself busy and keep things going. But I can't keep myself too busy. Where I over tap, and get too stressful, because I've done that too many times in my life to where it's just like, there's too much going on. It's like, I can't hold. It's like the the old picture. I don't know where that like the guy holding up the Atlas, right? He's down on one day, he can barely hold it up anymore. I don't know how many times I felt like that, where it's like, one more damn thing that gets put on my shoulders. I'm done. Like, there's been times where I've had to go tell my wife, like, help me get some of these tasks off my shoulders. They do this or do that for me or take care of this or take care of the kids or get the kids out of here? Like, I don't need any extra stress. Yeah, you know what I mean? So sometimes you have to do that. Just realize, like, where those dark extremes are for you. And try not to go there.

Jon Archambault 47:31

Yeah. And I think, but you have to revisit it. I think it's extremely important to say it is you can avoid whatever that dark spot for a while where you recharge your battery. And I think it's a positive Wait, because avoidance can be good at times, right? Depending on once you deal with it. But let's say that your day has been awful, right? And it's been a ship it for the entire day. And then you say okay, I'm gonna avoid for an hour or two or all until tomorrow when I recharge and I slipped a little bit and so on so forth. And then you sit with your feelings that you avoided. Because on the road, it comes down to this do you avoid forever? Are you going to do the same mistake over again? Are you gonna stay in that dirty circle? Right? Vicious Circle if you wish? Or are you diving in it to fix it, because if you actually work at it and go through it, it will never happen again. Because you work yourself out of that vicious circle circle down the road. And I think you're totally right. The other aspect is our spouse. I know my wife did everything for two years straight. I was a scarecrow sitting on a couch or whatever we're gonna call that and she brought the kids everyday she built up a business because I'm moved her away from home while having to take care of a brand new baby. And, and now the roles are reversed. Right? Like I think the other aspect that comes with it is we do enjoy the people we love while we recover is anger my wife was saying like you walk on eggshells, that's what I do daily. And if I do something that you think is wrong, we get into a match fight screaming fight. And I'm like I never realized that because I was always up here right so I was angry or frustrated or whatever that is because I don't have control over whatever is going on which is the valve of feelings are reopening right. And I don't control what the hell is going on there. So that's another thing that I find extremely interesting and it's as been we've been I did EMDR right the green light or red light whatever color it is that it brings you back where your memory should be like you do in bed when you go to bed. I did that does shock add magnetic shock to my brain to site of frontal frontal cortex and for six weeks each I think and now we're doing is ISF which is entering all system family. Because it is said that, you know, trauma are coming from sometimes your childhood as well. Right? So, and what we realize is because of the military is so young, right there, the brain is fully developed at 25 years old. Well, at 19 years old, you telnet of love. So you bring some stuff with it, right? So some of the way that I was raised and like you, I would say now, we said, I had great pricing, like my parents were great, it worked for us off my grandparents once said, I would see more than Yetter nothing wrong with it. Now, when to test. And it says that a Hunnicutt would have been neglected. My parents never did kick my ass, but it was kind of normal. If I was not respecting things, you know, like, I was scared of my dad for good reason, because I was a dick at times, and that's fine. But neglect, and the truth is that sometimes you as a human as a need have some things and it's just not brought. So it's not that we have bad parenting, right? It's just that we did not fulfill the one thing we were in need of affection can be whatever to help me be right.

Keith McKeever 51:11

We all have different love languages. Is that right? I mean, it's something that, you know, normally talked about between spouses, but you have that between kids too. You know, like, every, every person is different. So mix makes a really good point that you may have not gotten the encouragement from one parent, or you may have not gotten maybe, you know, physical touch is your kind of thing. And you may have not gotten the hugs and the cuddles from one parent, because they just weren't really touchy like that, you know, whatever. So there's definitely something to that. I could I could see that.

Jon Archambault 51:47

Yeah. And then you mix. So that's the other fun part. I think we've got PTSD. So you you look into other mental health syndromes if you want or disorder. I mean, ADHD being one when I discovered that one while I was 35, so a year ago, and I call my dad after No, Mike, did you know I have ADHD? And he's like, what's ADHD? Because it's not determined French to open my dictionary and look, but he's like, Oh, we know that. I'm like, since when? 456 years old, I don't know. Like, you never want it to tell me. And he's like, Well, we didn't want you to have the stigma around your head, because in the 80s and 90s, that there's a big stigma around it. So. So I thought, Okay, well, I'm gonna buy bought books now because I need to function and understand what's going on with my head. And again, the medication is a loaded thing, right? Where it's a bit different than the PTSD aspect, but it's dealing with having a brain that is not functioning like the mass. So, and a lot of people still say that it's a bad thing to have ADHD, it's not a bad thing. Right. Like, I think it's just different. We're just don't think the same way as most people. Which, yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

Keith McKeever 53:00

I mean, I was diagnosed with a DD, so the non hyperactive when I was like second grade, I would look at it like, you know, cars, right? A classic car versus a modern car, one of them has more electronics a little bit more. The other one is, you know, more mechanical in nature. And they're both cars, they both get to places. They're just wired differently. They just have different ways of running.

Jon Archambault 53:24

Yeah. And there's, again, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I mean, books where I read where gives you a, because superpower, right? That hyper focus that you can have versus, but you can also be dreaming as hell and just going in lala land and your brain, if you don't like what's going on, right? So you can flip is going to be good or bad, depending on your perspective is right back to that glasses and our full RFMD is you pick. And it's going to be the same for that recovery is going to be the same with you know, I think for same reason, as you do a podcast that started one of my own, I needed to have something to drive my life. I cannot serve, I cannot go back into uniform. What can I do? What can I serve that community? How can I do it? So well? Okay, well, I'm going to talk about mindset. We're going to talk about PTSD, you're going to talk about surviving, and those things. And I think it's fantastic, because then it gives you something to look up to, right a form of legacy evaluation or a form of giving to people because I'm sure that you do and and I do. This is not just a podcast is as well, although those conversation offline that are happening to those people wanting to talk and ask question. And sometimes we don't know the answer. But if we can help because it's part of serving, it's part of us too. So there's there's those points, right, looking at opening and non for profit with a friend, a veteran in us and we're looking at a state right now for helping to transition of soldier right because when you leave maybe everything you did in the military is not recognized. What are you gonna do? Like? Are you going to? You need to find a next? Next mission next Sunday?

Keith McKeever 55:08

Right? Yeah, your skills don't always do some skills, transition general skills, some technical skills like, you know, rocket, you know, rocket propulsion expert, right, you might get a job at NASA. That's probably about the only place so skills transition. Yeah. So

Jon Archambault 55:24

and I mean, you're looking at the fire fighter jets, right? My friend was flying those before. And he's like, you know, I got an offer from one of the airlines. And I said, No, he's like, he, it's like, you drove with Lamborghini all your life. And then you're driving like little Ford from 1950. It's not the same. And I'm like, Well, yeah, okay, but you need to, you can say that the best year that you've ever had in your life is in the past, or you can submit a bet and I'm gonna build up those years now in the future as the best years of my life, and tomorrow will be better than yesterday, and so on so far, right? Again, it's mindset, right? You can stick in the past, because I had that mentality. I'm like, fucking Special Force was the best time for me. Like, we were with a bunch of guys and girls, who all work towards the same goal. At and there's no, no quitter in this, there's no people just like, I'm just gonna punch in and punch out because I don't want to work today did not happen. Or I could say, well, that was the best time of my life at that time. And I'm gonna make it even better for what I can do now. So sometimes we get lost in that. It will never be as good. Well, wait, have you tried? Have you tried to make it better?

Keith McKeever 56:40

Yes, do you need to look at the life has chapters. You know, that's that was a different chapter of your life, you know, your young pilot or your young airman, young soldier, whatever, that's one chapter your life you transition out, you probably have another whole career or two ahead of you, you know, you got to 20 3040 years. So you retire, then you have a whole nother chapter in life after that. If you you have a chapter of your life between graduating high school, and you know, settling down and having kids, right, that's your single party life. That's a chapter. Then you have your I've got kids and I can't go out anymore life. And then you'd have I'm an empty nester, I can go out party again life. Right. Like, I mean, there's,

Jon Archambault 57:24

some people will say it's not quiet anymore. Okay. It's too quiet. I mean, I don't hear anyone. I know. That's a good one. My dad called me because my sons are sitting 10 years younger than me. And I believe she left home at 24 years old. And if at 17. She left 24 and an ethic a year after my dad calls me he's like, I'm divorcing, your mother screwed a shift. And I was like, what's going on? And he's like, she used to bug you, but your sister and then me. So I had a third of it right now I have the entire freaking load bothering me. Do this, do that. Do this. Like I'm retired. I don't want to do anything. But it. So yeah, depending on where you live with it, right? Like it can be, can be different. I know. My dad's like, I'm not, I don't want to think anymore. So he's like, he's picking up cucumber during the summer and the farmland sucks just fantastic. My what I don't have to think I don't think about anyone and I'll help people with their problem. I'm picking up cucumber, and it's great. And I was like, Alright, it makes sense. Like you work the entire life doing that. And now you do the opposite.

Keith McKeever 58:34

It makes a lot of sense. Yeah. I have to think about not thinking about things. When I garden does spring.

Jon Archambault 58:41

Well, there's something there's actually there's a form of dopamine, right? So because first, the gardening aspect, it's creativity. So you're creating something that's going to bloom grow and whatnot. And it's as in the dirt, there's a connection with nature, and it sounds woowoo and because I think like you said before, we're really into that medication aspect, and so on so forth. But there is connection with connecting with nature, while if you go camping, there's a morning where you're going to just smell you can smell it's different. It's not the smell that we're so used to it, that is the fumes, electricity, whatever that is. Now you're just you're smelling that whatever that you know, humidity on the morning or the snow or whatever that is. There is something in it. It's, I'm Yeah, sounds crazy, but it's okay.

Keith McKeever 59:32

But I don't think it sounds crazy. I probably have my best garden ever last year in somebody else. A fellow veteran been known for a while Lane Malone had kind of a challenge of going out and grounding. And so he kind of came up with that last year and it's kind of the one I think it was like six or seven different challenges. There's the one thing I actually incorporated so I would go outside and I would sit and I would take my shoes off and I don't normally go barefoot anywhere but I would take my shoes off. And I would, I don't know if this is really technically how you're supposed to ground but I would sit outside and I would eat my lunch in a folding chair and just put my feet in the ground. Yes. And then I would go out and garden couple times a week, I'd go check your garden, but I'd gone barefoot in the morning. And I would just kind of, you know, putz around in the garden and, you know, do little gardening activities, completely barefoot. And which was just wild to me, because like I said, I don't go anywhere barefoot. And it was just felt. So just, I felt so connected and grounded, like just liberated. And actually kind of can't wait to do it again, this spring,

Jon Archambault 1:00:37

see if you do it, and the cold is another one. So I was looking into this because when I was a kid, my parents kind of overloaded the breathing aspects, right? Because it was kind of taught to young, but it was overused. So when we were in therapy, and they're like, Hey, you gotta breathe. Now. I'm like, That doesn't work. So I've been looking for like two years, I'm going to do that that grounding, so it works properly. And I just been snowed a few inches, six or seven. So I just removed my socks. I went barefoot in the snow. And I just did deep breathing three minutes. For some reason I was smiling outside and like, I hope my neighbor are not looking at me right now barefoot, in short, wear a jacket. And, and I'm smiling because we're in the right moment right now. I'm not looking to pass. I'm actually pretty good. I'm pretty happy right now. There's nothing wrong that's going on. The world's not falling off. I have a house I have kids that are healthy wife who's successful and so on, so forth. That sounds damn pretty good to me. So wait, why? Why am I so worried? And then it kind of dissipate and your brain slowly right? So yeah, you're right, the fake grass. I kind of do it during the summer. But so But you're right, like I think our feet and ground. And I mean, a lot of people speak about that too, when they talk about terapii If you have your feet flooded on your ground, you will feel a weight going down. And it goes through your legs become heavier than your calves and then you feed and then you light again. Right so it's leaving your body. So it's either leaving usually what your mouth when you talk about it, like you said earlier, or as you work that heaviness you know leave your body slowly. so on so forth, right through to each their own again, but I think it's really worth it to visit it. I'm looking forward to go to North Carolina because first there's no snow over there. So I'm gonna be outside it's going to be plus, I don't know, less good for me. Because this morning, it was snowing again. But but going outside for that nature aspect. And just to smell outside will be fantastic. And I'm looking forward to that. Because yeah, it gives you a different open mindedness if you wish.

Keith McKeever 1:02:53

Yeah, well, I think no matter what everybody just needs to find. Find their why find that reason and find that positive mindset. I think that's really the kind of the takeaway, so it's just we got to do what we can to keep people here. Yep. So I know I've mentioned a few times. I mean, kind of sounds weird when I say it, but it's like, we just want you here tomorrow, like whoever it is, whoever here in a message like don't know who you are. Don't know what you're struggling with. But we you know, we get it. You're struggling. We struggle with things too, from time to time, but we just want you here tomorrow. Like that's the key just be here tomorrow. Yeah. So you know, just gotta reach out to somebody and get help.

Jon Archambault 1:03:36

Yeah, in the mindset, like I've talked to green bear friends, Navy SEALs, and an OR operator here or whatnot, they all say the same thing, right? When they went through the hardest hardship, they were just looking at the closest thing that would happen. So one would say, during Hell Week, I'm looking for my first meal. Because the very first is going to be good, I'm gonna have bacon or whatever it is, maybe, or the other one was like, I just want to finish that, that that part of the training now and then I can quit after. And then he says, like, I'm gonna go to the next part and the next part, and so on and so forth. Right? This is the same battle. That only difference is it's against you. It's against old habits that we have ingrained so bad that they creeped in into it into us. And yeah, like one step at a time. It's not going to be easy. But God Damn it's worth it. The road to change. If you don't change then go back to your habits and don't complain that you know things don't change. Because you didn't put the work in and you didn't you didn't change your life for that better and accept the help right? It's kind of like you said like, yeah, check on to your body but your body is going to check on to you. And I think it's important that we have our little community at times because that is a that is a peer to peer group support. Where in between if you're six or seven guys gals who We are sharing, I don't know, it can be a WhatsApp group or it can be whatever, maybe that is safe enough. And someone doesn't speak for two, three days, you're damn sure someone's gonna reach out to that set person. So I think our back sometime like when we serve, it's a good thing, right? We can't we have got to keep those kind of quality and values.

Keith McKeever 1:05:22

Absolutely. I mean, just like you said, when you're serving, if you're out there training in the field, and somebody has an off day, you really hate this, this guy's not putting 100% in today, something's off, you know, same thing, like in WhatsApp or text thread or something like a I haven't heard so and so, you know, what's going on? Or something seems a little off and their messages, you know, check on him. Yeah, you know, you have to be connected to be able to spot those kinds of things and know what's going on? Totally, you know, it's a lot of these things are.

We're not gonna stop everything. Obviously, we can't. But if we really did a better job, collectively, we could make a big drastic impact on the numbers. And I'm not talking about just suicide numbers. I'm talking substance abuse numbers, have we really started taking better care of our community? Yeah. So

Jon Archambault 1:06:16

yeah, and I mean, we have all those guys in our community are fantastic, jocose, fantastic, David Goggins, and so on, and they go hard. And so and I agree with them, they're good, but you need to be in the right state of mind to go that full pen. So start with small steps first, because if you think that from bottom to go full pin 200 kilometers an hour, 200 miles an hour, you're going to crash, right? There's no speed card or math to drive 200 miles an hour, constantly. It's not printing. So there's, there's exactly there. So I mean, I'm good for their message. But at the same way, it's not everyone who can get there from one day to the other.

Keith McKeever 1:06:59

But those guys are also kind of like, I mean, gosh, I guess say they're kind of like unicorns? Yeah. I mean, they're, they're just kind of rare, intense dudes. I mean, these were tip of the spear operators. These guys have mastered their mindset. Yep. Like, not everybody's going to be in that boat. If they if not, were, they were going to be right there with you. So yeah, I mean, it's, it's great. It gives you something to aspire towards. But for 99% of us, all we can do is to chant. All we can hope for is to channel a fraction of what those guys talk about, which is great. And yeah, yeah, they're I mean, they're inspirational. Definitely. But we just need to know that like, for most of us, we're not going to be exactly like those guys. No, but if you if you could be 10% of them. I think you do an All right.

Jon Archambault 1:07:51

I mean, as long as you do 10% Better than you did before. Because I think I think it comes down to your your own opponents, not David Goggins, you have to beat up, it's who you were yesterday. Right. But we have those same as we have those those figures who we see as motivational. What motivation is superficial, right, like what they have is commitment discipline. Because motivation doesn't stay, I don't know, a person who is motivated, 24/7, it doesn't stay. But what remains constantly is that commitment to yourself and that discipline towards your goal. So if you're planning to be, I don't know, healed the next five years, and you give your heart and 100% energy to it, it's gonna happen. I have no doubt. All right. But you got to do it for yourself, not for so and so's around you once you feel better. Because you're gonna get better, you're gonna get a fake better, you're gonna have a smile, you're gonna wear that mask, that five years will be you again, but wearing your mask, versus the person who their goal is to get better. Our goal is to make that community better. How do we do that? It's not necessarily with 50 person at a time, it's probably one conversation at a time where that person now I have hope to get in a better path. And you might have to work with them walk with them for a few days or a month or whatever that is right. Or if you check in Windows, but But you try.

Keith McKeever 1:09:21

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, John, I appreciate you coming on here. deep dive in with us man has a ton of nuggets of mindset and mental health. We went down the rabbit hole up today. So like I said at the beginning, it's my favorite topic to talk about. Obviously, it's a personal journey for for me and should arguably a vast majority of the listeners as well. So it's something we're all kind of going through get all I'm sure take a little bit here and there. So but tell us a little bit more about you know, wired differently and podcasts and different things you're doing

Jon Archambault 1:09:59

so Mark differently came, I was releasing a book name operational aversion wired differently. And it was kind of, there's no war stories, there's no cop stories, they're all my brain kind of switch. And I kind of bring people into this because I'm like, instead of people thinking is sigma, I'm gonna bring you all dark it gets in my brain. So I've kind of touched different types of writing. And while I was doing this, I opened Instagram just to create my own publicity because I was self publishing. And I sold 2448 ads and 24 hours, and I knew I could raise money and give that to the organization who help us. So I started to make hats I hired one of my friends serve with to work on leather, hired the wife of my buddy who's suffering from PTSD to sew on hats and so on so forth. I raise good good, I'm I think the first year I raised roughly around $30,000. Am I okay, well, we're gonna keep going. So then I hired for T shirts, and so on, so forth. And currently, I'm sponsoring two team and North Carolina of rugby, I donate to one of my friends here was going to run the country under 7067 days. To raise awareness on PTSD, I kind of support what I can around. And, and I don't take any profit. So I have not take a cent yet, from that company. Like I said, we're now gearing towards more of the outdoor aspect, higher quality, I was looking at more like quality of hard drinks, if you wish, but with after cost. Because we all liked that high quality material, but you don't have necessarily $800 to spend on the jacket, which kind of makes sense. I would not spend that money. So I don't expect people to spend that. But if I can help people to go out fantastic. And if I can then give money to equine therapy, or a retreats or name it. That's kind of what I do with that business. Now. The book is the same all the profit goes towards whatever organization I do as well speech to events, and the most recent one I've been working on is trauma, resiliency coaching. So I took a course in California, I took a course in Arizona, where I can get well certified, and help people actually going through their trauma. And it's not necessarily going about the past the past is for psychologists, let them deal with it. But what I can help us with today and tomorrow. So what are we going to build today and tomorrow. So you're not hunted constantly with your trauma? How can we make it so you're more performant into it, and so on and so forth. So that's kind of the new avenue that I'm doing. And I just have the fun of it. Right? Because you're helping any seeing people break through it's not about again, about serving, I guess it comes down to this is still serving the community. And and building something bigger so and the latest one, that's what someone who's who's about to leave the military. She's active military right now in us. And when she leaves, we'll build that ranch somewhere with equine therapy, and so on so forth in transition to help people and I would like to have a conformer retreat, right? So if you come back from whatever the warzone you are, you have a little housing that you can be with your family disconnected from the news and just bounce back together for two or three days. Because our society is so quick, right? Everything goes quick, quick, quick, real quick. Sometimes we need that timeout. And just to reconnect with family, because if you've been gone for a year, might be different might be challenging to to readapt to a while kids have to get up to go to school, and so on so forth, you have don't forget to put a garbage out, right, because you didn't have to do it for a year now. So put the garbage out, grabs a break fist, go walk the dog, oh, we need to cut the grass to rate. So before we jump into that thing, it'd be great to have that four days a week, retreat away from everyone and then from the back to, to working. So I'm looking forward to this one. Because I think it should be should do that more often.

Keith McKeever 1:14:08

Absolutely. I think it's really important to reconnect before you dive into your head spin and about all the chores and trying to figure out what your role is going back, you know, into the family and that home mix the dynamics and everything. So yeah, there's always something there. I'm lucky I didn't have to go through that when I was when I was young and single between my deployments. So very, very grateful. But you know, there's so many people that don't have that experience that they do have to come back and they have families and those dynamics. So but I do appreciate you coming on and sharing with us and for anybody who was who was listening Website and Links are in the show notes as always. So you can find them there if you're watching course scrolling and it'll be in the show notes on YouTube as well. So, thanks. Thanks for stopping by John. Thank you for having me, man. Appreciate that. There you have it, folks. Just remember if there's any resources not on the website you think should be on there please reach out and let me know and if you're struggling like I said at the beginning of the show please dial 988 Press one